Age 13 8th Grade: “Talent” Show
I really liked the 8th grade. By then I knew my way around the school, could figure out a locker, and wasn’t too nervous about meeting new teachers. I settled into a small group of friends and we had a lot of fun in class that year.
Towards the end of the school year there was going to be a talent show. I hadn’t planned on auditioning for it, but my friends Chris and Kelly were going to sing. I stayed in the “waiting” room with them. Kelly auditioned with no trouble. Chris was nervous about auditioning. She didn’t want to go in. I don’t know why…she had a great voice and was in the chorus and had solos before. Still, she didn’t want to go in. Then she decided that she’d audition if I sang with her. She was going to sing “The Greatest Love of All” (by Whitney Houston). I’d actually never heard it before. She handed me a piece of school notebook paper with the lyrics written on it in pencil and I looked them over. When it was time for us to audition Chris decided she just couldn’t do it…and sent me in there alone! I didn’t even want to audition in the first place. How did this happen?!
I honestly don’t remember anything about the audition. I don’t know how I sang a song that I never heard before…maybe I didn’t. Here’s what I do know: since practically nobody auditioned for the talent show we all got in, but they were going to video tape our performances and play them during homeroom one day. I think it was only Kelly, me, and maybe one other girl. I’m not sure how much time we had between the audition and the “performance”, but I know that I practiced a lot until I learned the song and the lyrics.
The day had come for us to “perform” in the Middle School auditorium. No one was there except for our music teacher with the video camera. Right before I was supposed to go on stage to have my song video taped…I had to pee. Bad. I ran around to all of the bathrooms close to the auditorium, but they were all locked. I knew that there was no way I could make it to one of the bathrooms inside the school and be back in time to be taped. I had to go out on stage anyway. And sing. A song that I never wanted to sing to begin with. With a full bladder. On video tape. For the whole school to see. Yippy!
Needless to say it was a pretty awful performance. I’m sure it will surprise you when I say that I don’t have a Whitney Houston-esque voice to begin with, so I was destined to be pretty terrible even without the full bladder. I was basically afraid to sing because I thought that I’d pee myself, so I was quiet and almost monotone. And since I never cared about the talent show to begin with, I just wanted it over with so that I could go to the bathroom and go home. And not pee my pants on video tape in front of the whole school.
In the end I didn’t pee my pants (yay!), but I did give an awful performance (boo!) and I’m pretty sure I can remember kids laughing at me during homeroom while the tape was playing. That kind of stuff never bothered me, though, and I’m sure I laughed along with them. And maybe I peed a little too.
My Piggy Tales:
*My Birth Story: I’m always late!
*Ages 3-5: Dancing in a box
*Age 6 First Grade: There’s a bra in my lunchbox!
*Age 7 Second Grade: Bossy Wheels and Shady Deals
*Age 8 Third Grade: I will not talk in class
*Age 9 Fourth Grade: I didn’t really need those fingers anyway!
*Age 10 5th Grade: Nothing’s Scary in the Fifth Grade
*Age 11 6th Grade: Jenny Got Ran Over by her Grandma
*Age 12 7th Grade: Youth Camp Stinks
*Age 13 8th Grade: “Talent” Show
*Age 14 9th Grade: (N)O Christmas Tree
*Age 15 10th Grade: The Newsboys Wouldn’t Ditch Their Friends
*Age 16 11th Grade: Acrophobia Gets You the Good Seats
*Age 17 12th Grade: In School Suspension
My Young Adult Years
*Dreams and Aspirations: The Long Road There
*Friends and Fellowship: Friends Don’t Get Friends Grounded
*My First Job
*How I Met Cool Daddy Part 1
*How I Met Cool Daddy Part 2
*Colonel Mustard on a Rollercoaster with a Plastic Fork
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