My Least Favorite Chore
I don’t enjoy any chore. Who does?! It’s a chore! Nonetheless there is one chore that I dislike, nay, abhor more than anything else.
Dirty dishes. I hate everything about dirty dishes. I hate the way that they look, the way that they smell, and how I have to position my prissy little fingers “just so” on them so I don’t get anything icky on me. Just thinking about it turns my stomach.
I have no idea how to hand wash a dish. I’m not even joking. I have never had to wash dishes before and no one ever formally showed me how to do it. I’m not sure how hot the water has to be or what the soap-to-dishes ratio is. I don’t understand how a dish can be considered clean after you just wiped it with the rag that you wiped the last dirty dish with *shudder*. The whole thing is gross and doesn’t make any sense. I’m quite happy to eat off of a dish that someone else has hand washed and sit in my ignorance, but when I’m cleaning it myself I have the desire to use a different rag for each item Monk-style. How do you even know when a dish is clean? Is it just when it looks clean…because a dog can lick a plate and make it look clean?! I rinse with hot water and let my husband take care of the rest. He was, after all, a dishwasher at a restaurant once as a teenager…he’s a professional!
Thankfully, I have a dishwasher and if I rinse a dish and put it in the dishwasher immediately after use…it’s not so bad. But many times this doesn’t happen. My daughter may be pulling me in three different directions and I have a million other things to do and dishes get laid on the countertop and then erased from my memory. My dear, darling hubby handles the loading and unloading and, well, basically everything related to dishes (God bless him!).
You know how some people have certain smells that they just can’t handle, kinda the way men gag at a dirty diaper? Well, dishes are my “bad smell”. I can’t stand the smell of dirty dishes even when (especially when?!) they’re in the dish water. Eck! I always packed my lunch for school, but sometimes on pizza day I’d eat the school lunch. I hated having to drop my tray off in the dishwashing room. It smelled so bad in there. I’d take a huge breath before I went in and tried to hold my breath the whole time I was in there. It’s hard to smile at a lunch lady when you’re trying not to breathe.
It gets worse. I can’t stand the smell of cold food. I mean, if food is supposed to be cold (like cheese, or milk, or strawberries), then I’m fine. It is cold leftovers, cold meat, and obviously food that went bad that I just can’t stomach. It’s not something that I can power through…I will throw up. If I know there is such an item in the fridge and I need to grab something…I hold my breath first. If I catch a whiff I have to run far away and breathe some fresh air. I would much rather change a poopy diaper than go anywhere near cold food or dirty dishes. The kitchen is not my friend.
So, there you have it. My least favorite chore. One that I basically refuse to do. And now you know that my Kryptonite is cold food and dirty dishes. Wait, you didn’t think I was Superwoman?! Meh, who am I kidding…Superwoman probably keeps her house clean. I hate that chick.
Go visit Rachael to see what she has to say about the dreaded dishes.
You, my dear readers, get to be part of something very special. In celebration of this most glorious day of all days on the calendar Rachael from Non-Domestic Mama and myself are teaming up to host the first annual No Housework Party! Oh yes. Not much will be different for Rachael and I since we avoid housework every chance we get…but for those of you dedicated domestic goddesses…we’re giving you the day off!
This Thursday, April 7, stop by and link up your post!
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Posted on April 6, 2011, in Jenn, No Housework Party and tagged No Housework Day, non-domestic. Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.
Toilets! I hate them I will be linking up! Can’t wait!
Awesome, Sarita! Looking forward to it 🙂 (the party, not the toilets)
Oh my gosh! You are not going to believe it when you read my hated chore post. I swear to you I am not going to edit it. It was already totally written before I read this. I think we might be dish hater twins! The whole part about how you have to hold the dishes a special way . . . I am so with you. The washing by hand . . . could not agree with you more! There is no way that is really clean. Seriously I don’t know how people survived before the invention of the dishwasher. lol And yes people who dry dishes with that nasty dishtowel . . . ewww! That’s just as bad as people who grill hamburgers and then put the cooked ones back on the same plate the raw ones were on. *shudder*
The cold food thing . . . well that’s just weird! (kidding) 😉
Dishes make me gag 😦
Your post was great.
And, yeah, the cold food thing might be a little weird.
Ok, I’m a total clean freak…but I’m with you on the whole dirty dishes thing. I hate doing the dishes! When I was a kid, I would gripe and moan to my mom on a daily basis because part of my daily chores involved hand washing and drying dishes. We didn’t have a dishwasher. I would always complain…”Why don’t we can’t we just get a dishwasher?!” and my mom would always say, “because we don’t need one…we have you for that!” Ahhh…I love my mom, but I don’t think she realized just how traumatizing that was for me. LOL! No…I’m just being overly dramatic now. But I say three cheers for dishwashers!!
Dishes have scarred us all for life! 😉
I hate it when someone fills the sink in an effort to do dishes, and then puts dirty (and I don’t mean scraped, but dirty) dishes in the water; then allows it to sit for so long it develops a slime…. BARF! Thank the dishwashing gods for dishwashers!