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Category Archives: Infertility

My Infertility Story (Part 5): Trying to Conceive and Secondary Infertility


April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

Trying to Conceive: Secondary Infertility

Trying to Conceive: Take 3
Secondary Infertility

On August 04, 2008, 5 years and 8 months after stopping the birth control pill, after over 4 years of unexplained infertility, a miscarriage, and 2 hours of pushing, I gave birth via caesarean section to a beautiful, healthy 8lb 6oz baby girl…Adaline Rose.

Even after all of the years of not being able to get pregnant after getting pregnant back to back, we thought maybe we were done struggling. Maybe we’ll be able to get pregnant again when we want to. I never started taking the pill again. It had made me sick before and after all of the struggles that I had I didn’t feel comfortable ever taking the pill again. We used alternative methods of birth control including tracking my cycles online.

I was breastfeeding and continued to breastfeed until Adaline was 13 months old. My period started to come back when she was 4 months old and was back to normal by the time she was 6 months old. Aside from my periods being a little lighter everything appeared “back to normal”. In fact, because I had been tracking my cycles online for years, when I went to add in my first period after the birth I saw that my period came exactly when it would’ve come had I never gotten pregnant. My cycles were always very regular.

I wanted to wait until after Adaline’s first birthday to attempt conceiving again. I wanted to be certain to give my caesarean scars time to heal and I wanted to be done breastfeeding first (I completely support longer breastfeeding and tandem nursing, but considering our history with infertility, I thought weaning would be best). Sometime in August we stopped preventing pregnancy and by October we were using the ovulation calendar to make sure we had our days right 😉 The end of September I went to the OBGYN for a Pap smear and told her that we were ready to start trying again. She gave us a prescription for the Crinone and said that if we weren’t pregnant in 6 months to come back to see her.

Ouch 😦

In September I used a home ovulation predictor kit because I wanted to check and make sure I had started ovulating again. When using a OPK/OPT you pee on the stick every day until it detects your LH surge which then means you should be ovulating in the next 24 hours. Once you detect the surge you can stop peeing on the stick. My LH surge was detected exactly when the ovulation calendar said that it should be, but I decided to keep peeing on all of the sticks until they were gone…just in case. The tests detected a surge for 7 straight days! I’m not sure what that meant, but it didn’t make any difference because I didn’t get pregnant anyway.

Shortly after stopping breastfeeding, I noticed that my periods were off. They started coming 5 days to a week early and one month it was a day or two late. I’ve never been one to obsessively take pregnancy tests, because it can be a waste of money and emotionally draining. I usually wait to see if my period comes unless I’m experiencing a lot of symptoms. Because my periods were so weird I took pregnancy tests now and then just to be sure. They were always negative.

After 8 months of trying we had an appointment to see the OBGYN at the beginning of April 2011. She asked some questions and we answered them. I told her about my weird periods and that I’d taken ovulation tests two different months (September and March) and detected my LH surge. She didn’t see any reason to repeat any of the more invasive tests (endometrial biopsy, hysterosalpingogram) (yippy!), but she ordered up more blood work to make sure that I was ovulating and to check my thyroid (again) and she ordered another semen analysis for my husband.

Guess what is going in here!

A few days later my husband took his sample to the hospital and on Good Friday I went and had my blood work done. Once she has the test results the doctor is fairly certain that she’ll be starting me on Clomid. We have an appointment on May 3 and then, well, we’ll see…

To be continuedsomeday.

relatedposts01blk
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Infertility Myth Busted: Just Relax
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility You are here!
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried

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My Infertility Story (Part 4): Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage


April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week
and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage: My infertility story

TRYING TO CONCEIVE: Take 2

On 09/25/2008 I had an ultrasound that confirmed the complete miscarriage of our first child. A week later I got a call from the doctor and she said that she also noticed what looked like a cyst near my ovary on the ultrasound. She said that it could be one of several things.
1. It could be a normal cyst that would come and go with ovulation
2. It could be a benign growth or tumor
3. It could be endometriosis.
She said that what they usually do is wait 6 weeks and then do another ultrasound to see if the cyst goes away on its own and if it doesn’t they do a laparoscopy. The way that they check for endometriosis is through laparoscopy and it’s one of the few tests I hadn’t had done yet. The doctor said that since endometriosis can be an infertility problem and we were already having trouble then we can just have the laparoscopy done right away instead of 6 weeks later. We decided to wait because we were going to be switching practices where the staff included an infertility specialist.

Less than 2 weeks after talking to my first OB about the laparoscopy I had an appointment with a new OB (not the specialist) at a new practice. She had me get blood work done to check my ovulation and thyroid and recommended we have another ultrasound done to look at the cyst. She said that there’s much debate about the existence of Luteal Phase Defect and that the small lag that I was showing is not enough of a diagnosis. Our infertility remained unexplained. The doctor said that we could start trying to conceive again and use the Crinone.

Three weeks later we had begun ttc again and I had another transvaginal ultrasound done. The ultrasound showed a very small (less than an inch) cyst near my left ovary. The doctor said that it appeared to be normal and that she didn’t see any problems with it, but that she’d like to see it on another ultrasound in 6 weeks to make sure it hadn’t grown or changed. If the cyst still appeared to be normal then she would put me on Clomid. If I didn’t get pregnant after 6 months on the Clomid she would refer me to the infertility specialist. She said that all of my other tests looked fine.

Eleven days later on November 16, 2008 I was at church and I just felt weird. I was light headed, dizzy, and woozy, I didn’t know what was going on. My period was due that Thursday and I thought maybe I was having some period symptoms, although I’d never experienced anything like it before. When we got home from church my husband left for work and I was going to head over to my mom’s house. The weird feeling was still there and I just had to take a pregnancy test so that I could prepare myself if my period was coming. I took the pregnancy test and it looked like it was negative. Then I looked again, really close, and I could see a very faint second line! I called my husband, who was excited, but because the line was so faint he thought it might be a false positive. We tested again on Tuesday and on Thursday, both positive, and my period never came. We were pregnant! We never went on Clomid or had the laparoscopy done.

We called the doctor and told them that we were pregnant and that we had an ultrasound scheduled for December 16 and could we still keep the appointment to check the progress of the pregnancy. They said yes! Another transvaginal (ug!) ultrasound. On December 16 I was 7 weeks and 5 days along when we got to see our precious baby for the first time. We were so relieved to see the little heart beating. It was such a different feeling from seeing the empty sac during our first pregnancy.


On August 04, 2008, 5 years and 8 months after stopping the birth control pill, after over 4 years of unexplained infertility, a miscarriage, and 2 hours of pushing, I gave birth via caesarean section to a beautiful, healthy 8lb 6oz baby girl…Adaline Rose.

To be continued

relatedposts01blk

*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2 You are here!
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried

My Miscarriage


April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

My blighted ovum miscarriage

My Miscarriage
*Warning: There is A LOT of talk about blood in this post. I tried to keep it mild, but it is what it is.

My second appointment was scheduled for September 08 when we would get to hear the heartbeat :). On Monday August 25 I woke up with a queasy feeling that you usually get with the onset of a period, so I called off from work that day. I decided to call the dr. to ask about the Crinone since I would be reaching my 12 week mark that Saturday. For the past few days small “chunks” of the Crinone mixed with dark brownish blood would be present when wiping in the morning. When I called and left a voice mail with the dr. office I asked about the Crinone and told them about the tiny bit of blood and asked if we could do an ultrasound (usually they only do one at 20 weeks). A receptionist called me back telling me that the OB said I should take my last Crinone application on my 12 week mark and they scheduled an ultrasound for Thursday 8/28.

Later Monday evening around 6pm I felt a small trickle. I pulled down my pants right there in the kitchen to find a dime size drop of bright red blood on my panties. I went to the toilet and was wiping more of the same kind of blood. My mom called the OB’s emergency line and I got to talk to another OB in the practice. He said that unless I’m bleeding very heavy that the ER would likely not even do an ultrasound and send me back home to wait it out. He asked me many questions and then told me not to worry yet, that sometimes this kind of bleeding happens and nothing is wrong. He said to think positive and he scheduled an ultrasound for the next day. After the initial scare I began to feel much more positive and was looking forward to getting to see my baby on the ultrasound the next day. Within a half hour the bright red blood was gone and by the time I went to bed my pad only had a very small amount of blood on it.

The next day by the time I was at the drs at 11:30am the bleeding had stopped entirely and my pad was completely clean. We went in for the ultrasound on Tuesday August 26 when I should have been 11 weeks 3 days along according to my LMP. I could barely move because I had to pee so bad so the tech told me she’d take a quick look and then have me empty. She did the abdominal ultrasound and said that I did a great job filling up my bladder (yippy, do I get a gold star?!), she pointed out the sac and said that we’d have to go internally to see the baby because it’s still so small.


She had me go to the bathroom to empty completely. Woohoo! I was thrilled because I was so uncomfortable. I peed as much as I could but when she started to do the transvaginal ultrasound she said that my bladder was still too full and sent me to empty again. Okay. She tried the transvaginal ultrasound again, and she again mentioned that my bladder wasn’t empty, but it must’ve been ok because she continued the exam. I found the transvaginal ultrasound painful but I kept quiet through it. She was moving and twisting the wand in all sorts of directions. She didn’t say anything through the whole exam until towards the end when she said that she was coming back out, she mentioned that she took a look at the ovaries and she pointed out the sac again.

(To read the story of how I got copies of these ultrasounds click here)

I went to the bathroom again and there was a small amount of blood mixed with Crinone which I assumed was because she’d been poking around in there. We were told to go to the waiting room.

After a short while we were brought into a room with the same NP that I had for my first prenatal visit. First she asked about the bleeding which I explained to her. Then she told me “It looks like you’re having a miscarriage.” She said that the pregnancy hadn’t progressed since the last time that they saw me, that I was measuring at 6 weeks (when I should be almost 12), that the sac was misshapen and should be round (when the tech pointed out the sac we saw an oval shape), and this is called a blighted ovum when the sac grows, but the baby doesn’t. Then she said something about a “rod”, but my husband and I heard two different things. I thought I heard her say that “All we’re seeing is a rod when we should be seeing a baby by this point.” And my husband thought he heard her say that, “We’re not even seeing a rod when we should be seeing a baby by this point.”

Then she went on to explain what we were to do next. She said that they would send me for an HCG (Quant) test and that I would have one every Monday until the numbers show that the pregnancy hormone has gone down and I’ve completely miscarried. At that point I can make an appointment to speak with the OB and then start trying again after a few cycles. She said to stop taking the Crinone until my cycles were normal again. She said that my upcoming appointment on 9/8 would be canceled but that I could call her with any questions. She said to call if I get a fever, severe abdominal pains, or bleeding worse than a period. She said that it looks as though my body is trying to miscarry and that it was giving us signals with the bleeding. She explained a D&C and said that some women prefer this because they can’t bare the pain of going through the miscarriage naturally. I told her that I didn’t want a D&C and that if this was going to happen I prefer it to happen naturally. She said, “We believe that it is best if your body is able to do it naturally.” Then we left to get the blood test done.

After the ultrasound on 8/26 I continued to bleed. I didn’t experience any pain or cramping although the later in the day that it got the more period symptoms I felt. The pregnancy nausea that I had been having went away about a week prior, but I had assumed it was because I was approaching my second trimester when many symptoms leave anyway. I was still experiencing fatigue and tailbone pain.

On Thursday August 28 at 4am I woke up bleeding heavy. I was having cramps like intense menstrual cramps, although they weren’t unbearable and I’ve felt them before during a period but not often since I’m not usually much of a cramper. Blood was coming out in big clots (almost ping-pong ball size). This bleeding was definitely heavier than a period, I’d never seen or experienced anything like it before. I probably flushed more than 20 times with the toilet full of blood each time and went through a jumbo roll of toilet paper in a few hours. An hour later I woke up my husband and had him call my mom to come over. My mom sat with me on a kitchen chair in the bathroom while I continued to cramp and bleed and cry. By 6:30am it felt like it had slowed down enough to be able to lie back in bed again. I continued to bleed for another week and spot for another week after that. I never saw the sac come out and, yes, I looked for it.

I had an appointment to talk with the OBGYN on September 23. She said that according to the first ultrasound on 8/26 and my low HCG level, she can say with 100% certainty that there is no baby. She did an internal exam and said that my uterus felt like it was almost back to normal size. I requested to have an ultrasound done. I asked her about my weight since I’d gained 8lbs since the beginning of the pregnancy. She pretty much said that it’s just regular weight and has nothing to do with the pregnancy.
(So yay, I have no baby AND I’m getting fat…yippy! 😦 )

Getting fat for no reason

Two days later I had an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage. There was no baby and the sac was gone. The u/s tech said that it looks like everything is back to normal in there and that all of the “products of conception” were gone. I was obviously upset, but I felt a little better and relieved to know that it was almost over.

I had to go once a week to have blood drawn so that they could monitor my HCG levels. It took a little over a month for the HCG hormone to completely leave my body.
HCG Levels
08/26: 6460.0
09/01: 506.9
09/08: 86
09/15: 28
09/22: 12
09/29: 7.7
10/06: 0

On October 02 I got a call from the doctor. She said that according to the ultrasound the miscarriage looked complete and everything was back to normal. She said that on the ultrasound she also noticed what looks like a cyst near my ovary.

To be continued

Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage You are here!
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby I miscarried

Pregnant After Infertility: My First Pregnancy


April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week
and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

Pregnant after infertility

My First Pregnancy

In June of 2008 we met with an adoption agency and began filling out paperwork. Two months after the last urology appointment on our 5 year anniversary (after a week of ttc) we decided that I would try taking the Crinone. So on June 21, my suspected day of ovulation that month, we used the Crinone for the first time.


Only a few days later I felt exhausted, was having breast pain, and was a little nauseous. I assumed that it was side effects from the Crinone or perhaps even early PMS symptoms. My period was supposed to come on July 5. That week I didn’t have any spotting like I normally do, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up and assumed that the Crinone was the cause.

When July 5 came and I didn’t start my period I wanted to take a pregnancy test. My husband wanted me to wait another week but since I had read that Crinone could sometime prolong a period I didn’t want to have my hopes up for a week. Although I was hoping that we were pregnant, I really wasn’t expecting to be. At 12:50pm I took a First Response HPT, the directions said to wait 3 minutes for results. I normally sit in the other room to wait, but I wanted to check the test line before leaving the room to be sure the test was okay. Before the test line even showed, the pregnancy line showed immediately with the lighter test line following a second later. We were pregnant!


After some other errands that we had to run that day we picked up more pregnancy tests and took them around 5pm. I took one more First Response test, and two digital Clear Blue Easy tests. Every test showed a positive result within seconds. My husband and I were shocked but thrilled. This would be the first grandchild on both sides of the family and we had been trying for so long. By the time we found out that we were pregnant we had been trying to conceive for 4 1/2 years and were almost 28 and 29 years old. I was exactly 4 weeks along according to my LMP. Once we were certain that we were pregnant we had to stop pursuing the adoption since the agency that we were working with requires your youngest child to be 9 months of age before filing for adoption, we were now ineligible.

I had a physical check up scheduled with my regular doctor that Monday. While there I told her of my positive pregnancy tests and asked if I could have a blood test done. She said that with four positive hpt’s that a blood test was unnecessary and that I should schedule an appointment with my OBGYN.

Prior to my first prenatal appointment I continued to experience fatigue, breast pain, and nausea. I began to experience tailbone pain at a little over 5 weeks. I was gaining weight. The day that we found out I was pregnant I weighed 118.5 lbs, six weeks later I had gained 5 lbs. Woah.

My first prenatal appointment was on Monday August 11, 2008. According to my LMP I was 9 weeks 2 days along. My appointment was with the Nurse Practitioner rather than the OB. She did a pelvic exam and she talked and asked me questions. I had a blood test done that day for Cystic Fibrosis, but no HCG tests or urine samples. I had been experiencing tailbone pain and asked her about it. She said that I was feeling that because my uterus was tilted back pressing against my tailbone. She said that there’s nothing I could do about it and that I could try a chiropractor and hopefully it will go away because it’s (pregnancy/childbirth) very painful for “tailbone girls”.

I wanted to ask exactly when to stop taking the Crinone. Should I take it until exactly my twelve week mark or should I be taking it until 12 weeks 6 days and then stop. However, as soon as I mentioned the Crinone she asked what it was. I told her that it was a progesterone gel and that I had a Luteal Phase Defect. She said, “Well, that’s important to know.” I had assumed that all of this information would be in the chart, but apparently not. She never did answer my question about the Crinone because she seemed so distracted once she found out about it, she began asking me questions instead. She said that I should call and let them know if I experienced any bright red bleeding of at least the size of a quarter or more.

My second appointment was scheduled for September 08 when we would get to hear the heartbeat :). On Monday August 25 around 6pm I felt a small trickle. I pulled down my pants right there in the kitchen to find a dime size drop of bright red blood on my panties.

To be continued

Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy You are here!
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried

Childless Mother an Infertility Poem


I wrote this poem about my infertility struggle on June 12, 2008. I got pregnant a week later with our first baby, which I later miscarried.
I’ve never published this or shown it to anyone other than my husband until now.

Childless Mother
by Jenn Rian
She is empty, She is hollowed out
Dry and solitary internal drought
Empty womb, empty soul
Partial woman not yet whole
Empty arms, empty heart
Fragile soul torn apart
A time to be hopeful, a celebration of love
Greatest gift sent from above
No longer overjoyed
Excitement is becoming void
Time…an aggressive enemy
Patience…a distant memory
Poison named anticipation
Disappointing revelation
Mocking rounded bellies and smiling faces
Make way for newer empty spaces
Blessed ones untouched by this invisible pain
No beautiful words could ever explain
Embraced by envy, the secret twin
She tries to strangle one within
Will she ever have happiness for a fruitful other
A heart broken woman, a childless mother

relatedposts01blk
Read The Short Version of our infertility story, or for the whole story read:
*Part 1: Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*Part 2: My First Pregnancy
*Part 3: My Miscarriage
*Part 4: Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Part 5: Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem You are here!

My Infertility Story (Part 1)


April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week
and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

Trying to Conceive: My infertility Story Part 1

TRYING TO CONCEIVE: Take 1
In September of 2002, 9 months before our wedding, I went to the doctor for a physical where I also got a Pap smear and starting taking birth control pills. After a year and 3 months on birth control pills I stopped taking them. They were making me sick and the price had gone up. We began using alternative means of birth control and I started tracking my period and estimated ovulation online. Six months later we decided to start trying to have a baby and stopped all forms of birth control. I have always had very regular periods. I’ve never smoked, never drank alcohol, don’t drink pop (soda) or coffee, and at the time had never been overweight. I was almost 25, hubby was almost 24.

We tried for almost four years before going to an OBGYN to get checked out. There wasn’t any particular reason why we didn’t go sooner. I had just never started going to a GYN (You can probably thank my 8th grade Sex Ed class for scaring me about the GYN by showing me a speculum. You want to do what with that?! Um, no thank you.). Had I been going for an annual GYN appointment I would’ve mentioned right away that we were trying to conceive and perhaps have made a special appointment before we ever got started. Lesson learned. Be sure to go the GYN boys and girls, no matter how scary the big shiny torture device looks.

They did blood work and said the results were all good (I don’t know all of the tests that they ran but I do know that they checked my thyroid, ovulation, and progesterone). I had a hysterosalpingogram (which is an X-ray test where they shoot dye into you to check the uterus and fallopian tubes) which again showed that nothing was wrong. I had an endometrial biopsy (where they scrape out a sample of uterine lining for testing) which showed that I had a lag in my uterine lining (I was on day 22 but the sample showed that I was only on day 18) called a Luteal Phase Defect (LPD). To my understanding this meant that we could’ve been fertilizing eggs but when they try to attach to the uterine lining it wasn’t prepared yet due to my lag and the egg wouldn’t be able to attach. My OBGYN recommended that I begin taking Crinone 8% which is a progesterone gel. It comes in an applicator and I was to use it every night starting on day 15 of my cycle until my period starts. If I became pregnant I was to use it every night for the first 12 weeks of pregnancy until the placenta took over. The OBGYN also mentioned that women with a Luteal Phase Defect usually have low progesterone levels but that my levels looked fine. I picked up the Crinone but never used it. I never even take aspirin so I was reluctant to put this into my body especially if my progesterone levels were apparently fine. I also wasn’t thrilled with some of the side effects mentioned including depression, nausea, fatigue, breast pain, head aches, and more. We decided to wait until my husband’s tests were completed to start using the Crinone.

The same day that I had the hysterosalpingogram my husband dropped off a specimen for a semen analysis (SA). Almost two weeks went by and no one ever called us with the results. Finally my husband called and they told him that his count was fine but there was some inflammation which could have been caused by a catheter (my husband had been catheterized at the beginning of September ’07 during a gallbladder surgery). After a few months my husband decided to make a urology appointment to see if anything else was wrong. Before he even had his appointment he found blood in his urine so they brought him in sooner. The Dr. found that he had a prostate infection which can result in abnormal sperm (we assume that these are the “inflamed cells” that the OBGYN office referred to). This would cause a problem conceiving because it lowers your sperm count since the abnormal sperm are completely useless. He put him on antibiotics and told him to stop drinking pop and tea…the infection cleared and then he had another SA done. The results this time were that his sperm count had doubled bringing it to the average level. The urologist said that if we don’t conceive within 6 months to come back (This was in April 2008).

In June of 2008 we met with an adoption agency and began filling out paperwork. Two months after the last urology appointment on our 5 year anniversary (after a week of ttc) we decided that I would try taking the Crinone. On July 5 we discovered that we were pregnant after 4 years of trying to conceive.

To be continued

Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1 You are here!
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby I miscarried

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