Category Archives: Pregnancy

Our Infertility Story: The Short Version

My Infertility Story: The Short Version
Here’s the short version of the story:
*January 2004:
I stopped taking the birth control pill after a year and three months of use.

*December 2007:
After 3 years 5 months of ttc, an endometrial biopsy, hysterosalpingogram, numerous blood tests, ultrasounds, and home ovulation tests for me and two semen analysis for my husband we’re diagnosed with “unexplained infertility”.

*June 2008:
Start using Crinone progesterone gel for a potential Luteal Phase Defect.

*June 2008:
Got pregnant.

*August 2008:
Miscarried the baby at 11 weeks 5 days.
(Blighted ovum)
*November 2008:
Got pregnant again two months later.

*August 2009:
Gave birth to a healthy baby girl, Adaline, via c-section.

The length of time from stopping birth control to the birth of our daughter:
5 years 8 months
*September 2009:
Adaline weaned at 13 months old and we begin trying to conceive again using the Crinone.
*April 2011:
We’re 8 months into trying for another child.

*May 2011:
A blood test reveals that I’m not ovulating.
Started 50mg of Clomid on cycle days 3-7.
Start Crinone 8% on cycle day 15.

*May 27, 2011:
Postive Pregnancy Test! Baby due February 5, 2012!
*February 08, 2012:
Gave birth to a healthy baby boy, Jonathan, via unmedicated vbac.
We are done adding to our family unless God sees fit to bless us with a child that we aren’t *trying* to have. Our “trying” days are over now. We currently have no plans to adopt because I find motherhood to be very challenging, but we’re open to adopting in the future if we feel God leading us down that path.

*But if you want the whole story read…
+Part 1: The first 4 ½ years of our infertility struggle
+Part 2: My first Pregnancy
+Part 3: My Miscarriage
+Part 4: Conceiving after miscarriage
+Part 5: Secondary infertility after the birth of our daughter
+Part 6: TTC and Treatment for Secondary Infertility
+Part 7: Pregnant after Secondary Infertility

Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Infertility Myth Busted: Just Relax
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby I miscarried

My Infertility Story (Part 4): Trying to Conceive After Miscarriage

April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week
and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

Trying to Conceive after Miscarriage: My infertility story


On 09/25/2008 I had an ultrasound that confirmed the complete miscarriage of our first child. A week later I got a call from the doctor and she said that she also noticed what looked like a cyst near my ovary on the ultrasound. She said that it could be one of several things.
1. It could be a normal cyst that would come and go with ovulation
2. It could be a benign growth or tumor
3. It could be endometriosis.
She said that what they usually do is wait 6 weeks and then do another ultrasound to see if the cyst goes away on its own and if it doesn’t they do a laparoscopy. The way that they check for endometriosis is through laparoscopy and it’s one of the few tests I hadn’t had done yet. The doctor said that since endometriosis can be an infertility problem and we were already having trouble then we can just have the laparoscopy done right away instead of 6 weeks later. We decided to wait because we were going to be switching practices where the staff included an infertility specialist.

Less than 2 weeks after talking to my first OB about the laparoscopy I had an appointment with a new OB (not the specialist) at a new practice. She had me get blood work done to check my ovulation and thyroid and recommended we have another ultrasound done to look at the cyst. She said that there’s much debate about the existence of Luteal Phase Defect and that the small lag that I was showing is not enough of a diagnosis. Our infertility remained unexplained. The doctor said that we could start trying to conceive again and use the Crinone.

Three weeks later we had begun ttc again and I had another transvaginal ultrasound done. The ultrasound showed a very small (less than an inch) cyst near my left ovary. The doctor said that it appeared to be normal and that she didn’t see any problems with it, but that she’d like to see it on another ultrasound in 6 weeks to make sure it hadn’t grown or changed. If the cyst still appeared to be normal then she would put me on Clomid. If I didn’t get pregnant after 6 months on the Clomid she would refer me to the infertility specialist. She said that all of my other tests looked fine.

Eleven days later on November 16, 2008 I was at church and I just felt weird. I was light headed, dizzy, and woozy, I didn’t know what was going on. My period was due that Thursday and I thought maybe I was having some period symptoms, although I’d never experienced anything like it before. When we got home from church my husband left for work and I was going to head over to my mom’s house. The weird feeling was still there and I just had to take a pregnancy test so that I could prepare myself if my period was coming. I took the pregnancy test and it looked like it was negative. Then I looked again, really close, and I could see a very faint second line! I called my husband, who was excited, but because the line was so faint he thought it might be a false positive. We tested again on Tuesday and on Thursday, both positive, and my period never came. We were pregnant! We never went on Clomid or had the laparoscopy done.

We called the doctor and told them that we were pregnant and that we had an ultrasound scheduled for December 16 and could we still keep the appointment to check the progress of the pregnancy. They said yes! Another transvaginal (ug!) ultrasound. On December 16 I was 7 weeks and 5 days along when we got to see our precious baby for the first time. We were so relieved to see the little heart beating. It was such a different feeling from seeing the empty sac during our first pregnancy.

On August 04, 2008, 5 years and 8 months after stopping the birth control pill, after over 4 years of unexplained infertility, a miscarriage, and 2 hours of pushing, I gave birth via caesarean section to a beautiful, healthy 8lb 6oz baby girl…Adaline Rose.

To be continued


*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2 You are here!
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried

My Miscarriage

April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

My blighted ovum miscarriage

My Miscarriage
*Warning: There is A LOT of talk about blood in this post. I tried to keep it mild, but it is what it is.

My second appointment was scheduled for September 08 when we would get to hear the heartbeat :). On Monday August 25 I woke up with a queasy feeling that you usually get with the onset of a period, so I called off from work that day. I decided to call the dr. to ask about the Crinone since I would be reaching my 12 week mark that Saturday. For the past few days small “chunks” of the Crinone mixed with dark brownish blood would be present when wiping in the morning. When I called and left a voice mail with the dr. office I asked about the Crinone and told them about the tiny bit of blood and asked if we could do an ultrasound (usually they only do one at 20 weeks). A receptionist called me back telling me that the OB said I should take my last Crinone application on my 12 week mark and they scheduled an ultrasound for Thursday 8/28.

Later Monday evening around 6pm I felt a small trickle. I pulled down my pants right there in the kitchen to find a dime size drop of bright red blood on my panties. I went to the toilet and was wiping more of the same kind of blood. My mom called the OB’s emergency line and I got to talk to another OB in the practice. He said that unless I’m bleeding very heavy that the ER would likely not even do an ultrasound and send me back home to wait it out. He asked me many questions and then told me not to worry yet, that sometimes this kind of bleeding happens and nothing is wrong. He said to think positive and he scheduled an ultrasound for the next day. After the initial scare I began to feel much more positive and was looking forward to getting to see my baby on the ultrasound the next day. Within a half hour the bright red blood was gone and by the time I went to bed my pad only had a very small amount of blood on it.

The next day by the time I was at the drs at 11:30am the bleeding had stopped entirely and my pad was completely clean. We went in for the ultrasound on Tuesday August 26 when I should have been 11 weeks 3 days along according to my LMP. I could barely move because I had to pee so bad so the tech told me she’d take a quick look and then have me empty. She did the abdominal ultrasound and said that I did a great job filling up my bladder (yippy, do I get a gold star?!), she pointed out the sac and said that we’d have to go internally to see the baby because it’s still so small.

She had me go to the bathroom to empty completely. Woohoo! I was thrilled because I was so uncomfortable. I peed as much as I could but when she started to do the transvaginal ultrasound she said that my bladder was still too full and sent me to empty again. Okay. She tried the transvaginal ultrasound again, and she again mentioned that my bladder wasn’t empty, but it must’ve been ok because she continued the exam. I found the transvaginal ultrasound painful but I kept quiet through it. She was moving and twisting the wand in all sorts of directions. She didn’t say anything through the whole exam until towards the end when she said that she was coming back out, she mentioned that she took a look at the ovaries and she pointed out the sac again.

(To read the story of how I got copies of these ultrasounds click here)

I went to the bathroom again and there was a small amount of blood mixed with Crinone which I assumed was because she’d been poking around in there. We were told to go to the waiting room.

After a short while we were brought into a room with the same NP that I had for my first prenatal visit. First she asked about the bleeding which I explained to her. Then she told me “It looks like you’re having a miscarriage.” She said that the pregnancy hadn’t progressed since the last time that they saw me, that I was measuring at 6 weeks (when I should be almost 12), that the sac was misshapen and should be round (when the tech pointed out the sac we saw an oval shape), and this is called a blighted ovum when the sac grows, but the baby doesn’t. Then she said something about a “rod”, but my husband and I heard two different things. I thought I heard her say that “All we’re seeing is a rod when we should be seeing a baby by this point.” And my husband thought he heard her say that, “We’re not even seeing a rod when we should be seeing a baby by this point.”

Then she went on to explain what we were to do next. She said that they would send me for an HCG (Quant) test and that I would have one every Monday until the numbers show that the pregnancy hormone has gone down and I’ve completely miscarried. At that point I can make an appointment to speak with the OB and then start trying again after a few cycles. She said to stop taking the Crinone until my cycles were normal again. She said that my upcoming appointment on 9/8 would be canceled but that I could call her with any questions. She said to call if I get a fever, severe abdominal pains, or bleeding worse than a period. She said that it looks as though my body is trying to miscarry and that it was giving us signals with the bleeding. She explained a D&C and said that some women prefer this because they can’t bare the pain of going through the miscarriage naturally. I told her that I didn’t want a D&C and that if this was going to happen I prefer it to happen naturally. She said, “We believe that it is best if your body is able to do it naturally.” Then we left to get the blood test done.

After the ultrasound on 8/26 I continued to bleed. I didn’t experience any pain or cramping although the later in the day that it got the more period symptoms I felt. The pregnancy nausea that I had been having went away about a week prior, but I had assumed it was because I was approaching my second trimester when many symptoms leave anyway. I was still experiencing fatigue and tailbone pain.

On Thursday August 28 at 4am I woke up bleeding heavy. I was having cramps like intense menstrual cramps, although they weren’t unbearable and I’ve felt them before during a period but not often since I’m not usually much of a cramper. Blood was coming out in big clots (almost ping-pong ball size). This bleeding was definitely heavier than a period, I’d never seen or experienced anything like it before. I probably flushed more than 20 times with the toilet full of blood each time and went through a jumbo roll of toilet paper in a few hours. An hour later I woke up my husband and had him call my mom to come over. My mom sat with me on a kitchen chair in the bathroom while I continued to cramp and bleed and cry. By 6:30am it felt like it had slowed down enough to be able to lie back in bed again. I continued to bleed for another week and spot for another week after that. I never saw the sac come out and, yes, I looked for it.

I had an appointment to talk with the OBGYN on September 23. She said that according to the first ultrasound on 8/26 and my low HCG level, she can say with 100% certainty that there is no baby. She did an internal exam and said that my uterus felt like it was almost back to normal size. I requested to have an ultrasound done. I asked her about my weight since I’d gained 8lbs since the beginning of the pregnancy. She pretty much said that it’s just regular weight and has nothing to do with the pregnancy.
(So yay, I have no baby AND I’m getting fat…yippy! 😦 )

Getting fat for no reason

Two days later I had an ultrasound to confirm the miscarriage. There was no baby and the sac was gone. The u/s tech said that it looks like everything is back to normal in there and that all of the “products of conception” were gone. I was obviously upset, but I felt a little better and relieved to know that it was almost over.

I had to go once a week to have blood drawn so that they could monitor my HCG levels. It took a little over a month for the HCG hormone to completely leave my body.
HCG Levels
08/26: 6460.0
09/01: 506.9
09/08: 86
09/15: 28
09/22: 12
09/29: 7.7
10/06: 0

On October 02 I got a call from the doctor. She said that according to the ultrasound the miscarriage looked complete and everything was back to normal. She said that on the ultrasound she also noticed what looks like a cyst near my ovary.

To be continued

Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage You are here!
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby I miscarried

Pregnant After Infertility: My First Pregnancy

April 24-April 30, 2011 is National Infertility Awareness Week
and I’ll be sharing my infertility story with you.

Read The Short Version, or for the whole story read:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, and Part 5

Pregnant after infertility

My First Pregnancy

In June of 2008 we met with an adoption agency and began filling out paperwork. Two months after the last urology appointment on our 5 year anniversary (after a week of ttc) we decided that I would try taking the Crinone. So on June 21, my suspected day of ovulation that month, we used the Crinone for the first time.

Only a few days later I felt exhausted, was having breast pain, and was a little nauseous. I assumed that it was side effects from the Crinone or perhaps even early PMS symptoms. My period was supposed to come on July 5. That week I didn’t have any spotting like I normally do, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up and assumed that the Crinone was the cause.

When July 5 came and I didn’t start my period I wanted to take a pregnancy test. My husband wanted me to wait another week but since I had read that Crinone could sometime prolong a period I didn’t want to have my hopes up for a week. Although I was hoping that we were pregnant, I really wasn’t expecting to be. At 12:50pm I took a First Response HPT, the directions said to wait 3 minutes for results. I normally sit in the other room to wait, but I wanted to check the test line before leaving the room to be sure the test was okay. Before the test line even showed, the pregnancy line showed immediately with the lighter test line following a second later. We were pregnant!

After some other errands that we had to run that day we picked up more pregnancy tests and took them around 5pm. I took one more First Response test, and two digital Clear Blue Easy tests. Every test showed a positive result within seconds. My husband and I were shocked but thrilled. This would be the first grandchild on both sides of the family and we had been trying for so long. By the time we found out that we were pregnant we had been trying to conceive for 4 1/2 years and were almost 28 and 29 years old. I was exactly 4 weeks along according to my LMP. Once we were certain that we were pregnant we had to stop pursuing the adoption since the agency that we were working with requires your youngest child to be 9 months of age before filing for adoption, we were now ineligible.

I had a physical check up scheduled with my regular doctor that Monday. While there I told her of my positive pregnancy tests and asked if I could have a blood test done. She said that with four positive hpt’s that a blood test was unnecessary and that I should schedule an appointment with my OBGYN.

Prior to my first prenatal appointment I continued to experience fatigue, breast pain, and nausea. I began to experience tailbone pain at a little over 5 weeks. I was gaining weight. The day that we found out I was pregnant I weighed 118.5 lbs, six weeks later I had gained 5 lbs. Woah.

My first prenatal appointment was on Monday August 11, 2008. According to my LMP I was 9 weeks 2 days along. My appointment was with the Nurse Practitioner rather than the OB. She did a pelvic exam and she talked and asked me questions. I had a blood test done that day for Cystic Fibrosis, but no HCG tests or urine samples. I had been experiencing tailbone pain and asked her about it. She said that I was feeling that because my uterus was tilted back pressing against my tailbone. She said that there’s nothing I could do about it and that I could try a chiropractor and hopefully it will go away because it’s (pregnancy/childbirth) very painful for “tailbone girls”.

I wanted to ask exactly when to stop taking the Crinone. Should I take it until exactly my twelve week mark or should I be taking it until 12 weeks 6 days and then stop. However, as soon as I mentioned the Crinone she asked what it was. I told her that it was a progesterone gel and that I had a Luteal Phase Defect. She said, “Well, that’s important to know.” I had assumed that all of this information would be in the chart, but apparently not. She never did answer my question about the Crinone because she seemed so distracted once she found out about it, she began asking me questions instead. She said that I should call and let them know if I experienced any bright red bleeding of at least the size of a quarter or more.

My second appointment was scheduled for September 08 when we would get to hear the heartbeat :). On Monday August 25 around 6pm I felt a small trickle. I pulled down my pants right there in the kitchen to find a dime size drop of bright red blood on my panties.

To be continued

Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy You are here!
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried

Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage

I wrote and posted this article last year on 3/14/2009 on a personal blog that I decided not to continue. Since I never did anything with that blog and no one got to read it I decided to repost it here. I edited a few things to reflect the passage of time, otherwise the text is unaltered.

March 14, 2009 was the due date for our first baby. I had a miscarriage on August 28, 2008 at 11 weeks and 5 days. During the pregnancy we called the baby Biddle. In 2009 on the baby’s due date I wanted to give the baby a name, just as we would have if he/she would’ve been born that day. We named our baby Jordan Shiloh. If he/she had survived Jordan would be two years old now (although likely with a different name). These “anniversaries” are difficult for me. They are marked with sadness for obvious reasons…but they are also very lonely. No one else remembers Jordan’s due date or miscarriage date or the date we found out that I was pregnant (July 5, 2008). I do. These dates are set apart for me now and I will never forget them. I believe I have a right to be sad. I believe I have a right to grieve our baby that we never got to know. However, I don’t want these dates to always be sad and depressing to me. I want to honor our baby.

It’s fitting that last year Jordan’s due date fell on “Spring Ahead”. It’s so symbolic of what I need to do. When going through a miscarriage (especially after following a season of infertility) it’s so easy to “fall back”. Falling back looks so inviting. Fall is a time when the trees go through an amazing transformation. Their colors change but then they shed their old leaves. They prepare for a season that they will spend cold and bare. When I lost my baby I cried more than I had ever cried in my life. My womb felt even more empty and barren then it had during my infertility. The physical pain paled in comparison to the emotional pain that I felt as my baby was leaving my body. I felt alone, empty, and as bare as the naked trees entering winter.

Although the trees are left bare for the winter, they are not dead. The leaves are dead but the trees are not dead. The leaves that they have shed are gone now, but the tree is still alive! I couldn’t bury myself, although I often felt like I wanted to. I couldn’t give up. Although I felt sadness, although I felt bare…I was still alive. I had my emotional fall. I had my emotional winter. But it can’t stay winter forever. It won’t stay winter just because I want it to. Just because I pull the covers over my head and refuse to be part of the world doesn’t make it stop spinning. When I finally get out of bed and look outside I can see that spring has come and life is still going on. Life is going on. Life. Life. LIFE. It’s out there. It’s all around. Spring is all about life, renewal, growth. I need to live life. I need to spring ahead.

This spring to honor Jordan my husband and I want to give life. Between now and the baby’s miscarriage date in August here are some of the things that we hope to do to give life: plant a tree in the baby’s memory, donate blood, and donate food/supplies to the Humane Society. In doing these things we can help the environment, help people, and help animals.

Mommy and Adaline take a walk on Jordan's "due date" (2011)

If you would like to join us in giving life this spring, leave a comment and let me know what you plan to do.

Related Posts:
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Trying to Conceive: Take 1
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage
*Trying to Conceive: Take 2
*Trying to Conceive: Take 3 Secondary Infertility

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My Birth Story: I’m always late

For this first post I cheated and asked my mom to write it for me. I figured that it would be more meaningful coming right from her rather than me re-writing what she told me.

1979 My parents about 2-3 months before I was born

Here is my birth story in my mother’s words:
 “It was early Sunday morning 09-30-79, two weeks late and ready to burst, when finally a glimmer of hope that I wouldn’t be pregnant forever appeared, of all places…in my underwear!
 (I was two weeks late! This isn’t unusual for me as I seem to always be late even today!)
We called the doctor’s office and to my delight they said “If you’re not in labor, we’ll induce. Go to the hospital.” The sun shone…the angels sang…I was elated! I would finally get to meet my little baby…girl…boy…we didn’t know…we wanted to be surprised!
 About 11:00 A.M. they broke my water, after an hour…nothing…so they induced. Labor pains started immediately but after 5 ½ long hours still…nothing. The doctor came in and told us that the baby was getting stressed and the heartbeat was slowing and they would have to do a C-section. My husband looked as though he was going to throw up! I on the other hand didn’t care if they pulled the baby out of my nose with a spoon, I just wanted the baby out and I told the doctor as much!
They prepped me for surgery and at 6:15 p.m. We finally got to meet our little baby girl, Jennifer Rian, for the first time! You know with all that was going on in the operating room, I don’t even remember if she cried, but I did.”

09-30-1979 Me 2 hours old

I forgot to ask my mom to write about naming me, so I called her to be sure I got the story straight. Here’s what she said:
“I’ve always liked the name Jennifer, so I named you Jennifer. I always imagined Jennifer having blond hair and blue eyes and I don’t know why but I always pictured you running through a field. We wanted to do something different for your middle name so we took the first two letters from your dad’s name and the first two letters from my name and came up with Rian.”
I’ve always loved the meaning behind my middle name. I think it’s unique and I really like it (Although for a time during high school I thought it would sound better pronounced Ree-Ann (rather than Rye-en), but I got over that.). Being a Jennifer in the 1980’s wasn’t at all unusual so it was nice to have a special middle name.

Well, I’m off to go run through a field! See you next week 🙂


Left: 1979 Mom 6m pregnant w/ me Right: 2009 Me 9m pregnant w/ Adaline


My Piggy Tales:
*My Birth Story: I’m always late!
*Ages 3-5: Dancing in a box
*Age 6 First Grade: There’s a bra in my lunchbox!
*Age 7 Second Grade: Bossy Wheels and Shady Deals
*Age 8 Third Grade: I will not talk in class
*Age 9 Fourth Grade: I didn’t really need those fingers anyway!
*Age 10 5th Grade: Nothing’s Scary in the Fifth Grade
*Age 11 6th Grade: Jenny Got Ran Over by her Grandma
*Age 12 7th Grade: Youth Camp Stinks
*Age 13 8th Grade: “Talent” Show
*Age 14 9th Grade: (N)O Christmas Tree
*Age 15 10th Grade: The Newsboys Wouldn’t Ditch Their Friends
*Age 16 11th Grade: Acrophobia Gets You the Good Seats
*Age 17 12th Grade: In School Suspension

My Young Adult Years
*Dreams and Aspirations: The Long Road There
*Friends and Fellowship: Friends Don’t Get Friends Grounded
*My First Job
*How I Met Cool Daddy Part 1
*How I Met Cool Daddy Part 2
*Colonel Mustard on a Rollercoaster with a Plastic Fork

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