Pointless Tutorials: How to build a jigsaw puzzle

Since I was already going to build the puzzle that I got for our new birthday tradition, I figured that I’d offer to you, my dedicated readers (hi mom!), a pointless tutorial on how to build a puzzle.  Here goes.

Step 1: Get a puzzle.  You can buy one or borrow one.  I have never heard of puzzle rental, although you can find anything on the internet these days, so it’s worth a google if you’re interested.  Please do not steal a puzzle as we here at Coolest Family on the Block do not condone any form of thievery (even if we think that pirates are cool…cause they are).  This includes “borrowing” one from someone without first asking permission.  Your mom would be so disappointed in that behavior.

Step 2: Open the puzzle box.  This could get tricky.  If it’s a brand new puzzle they aren’t easy to open.  Explosives work best.  If you don’t have any explosives, then I recommend having a responsible adult use a knife or scissors to open it…be very careful.  If the puzzle that you have has been opened before, the integrity of the strength of the bottom box may have been compromised, particularly if the puzzle is old.  This can result in puzzle pieces going everywhere when you attempt to open the box.  You likely will always be missing at least one piece no matter how hard you look or how often you clean.  That is, of course, until your pet or small child finds the missing piece and swallows it. 
Don’t worry, they could probably use more fiber in their diet any way.

Step 3: Sort out the straight edge pieces from the rest.  Seriously, I’m not joking here.  Everyone knows that this is the proper way to commence puzzle building.  Any other way will be shunned.  Shunned I tell you.

Step 4: Build the border of the puzzle.  Use all of those straight edges that you sorted out.  You will likely have to search for more straight edges, they’re elusive little buggers.  You’ll probably have to rebuild some of the frame because you thought that you had all of the pieces and you were putting things together that didn’t belong.  Try not to tear the nub of the puzzle piece off as your twisting it from its improper mate.  Be more careful next time.

Step 5: Separate the remaining puzzle pieces into piles of like patterns and colors, just because it makes my little obsessive-compulsive heart sing.  If you have built puzzles in the past by just diving your hand in and picking up a random piece as though it were a bag of potato chips, never find anything that fits together, give up and then go get a real bag of potato chips…this is the reason why puzzle building has been a source of frustration for you.  Give the puzzle the respect it deserves and follow the system you animal.

Step 6: Choose a pile and start putting those pieces together.  Starting with a pile that matches a section of the border is always a good way to go.  Start from the border and work your way in.  If you have a subject in the puzzle such as a person or animal it’s also an option to build the face and work your way out (that’s what I did with this puzzle).  Continue to do this until you’ve used all of the pieces to copy the photo on the box.  
Don’t bother reading that part over again to see if you missed anything.  I didn’t write anything weird or funny there.  Move along now.


Step 7: Put in the last piece of your puzzle.

Congratulations.  Your puzzle is now complete.  The world will begin to make sense to you now.  Do a celebratory dance.

Yes.  Puzzles are awesome.

The End.


Posted on August 30, 2010, in Humor and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. 3 Comments.

  1. 1st of all, that puzzel is AWESOME!!! I was reading this aloud to Dominic and he was all giggles and smiles, and asked me if Aunt Jenny wouldn’t mind getting him, HIS 1st puzzel so he would be able to build, using her awesome stratagies. =) You are nuts.


  2. Hi, Jenn! She’s just as beautiful in puzzle form!


  3. What a cute idea. Love it!


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