Category Archives: Humor

No Bippity-Boo!


No BippityBoo Cute Funny Toddler

When I saw the Mama Kat vlog prompt “Things kids do that I don’t understand…” a million things ran through my head, because, seriously, kids do the weirdest things. But this one moment with my daughter when she was just shy of 21 months old stuck out in my mind so much, I had to share it with you…

Adaline wants me to sing Bippity-Boo…or does she? (Video here)

This post is linked to…
Mama Kat Vlog Prompts


cfotbemailsub_0

Is that an Earthquake or is my cell phone on vibrate?


Disclaimer: This blog post is about The Great East Coast Earthquake of 2011. It is also a gross overshare of all natural disasters I’ve experienced thus far. Prepare to be bored horrified, shocked, and amazed.

Yesterday while my husband was at work and my daughter was with her Grandma, I was sitting in my bed in good ‘ol Beaver Falls, PA enjoying some cake (because I work really hard and all). My dog had just run inside of his cage so that he could scratch his ears (I guess he wanted some privacy??) While he was scratching his ears I started to feel the bed move…in rhythm with his scratching. Being sarcastic as I am, even if I’m alone with no one to share it with, I thought to myself, “If he’s scratching his ears so hard that it’s moving this bed that’s going to be one big vet bill.” And then the shaking got ever-so-slightly stronger and I actually began to think that, as crazy as it might be, maybe a stray dog had somehow gotten underneath my bed and was also scratching and it was making the bed move…that was not sarcasm it was a brief, real, albeit stupid, thought that I actually had. Then, ever-the-analytical thinker, I began to think that maybe I should stay very still and assess the situation. The bed was moving ever-so-slightly and I could hear the rustling of the piles of crap that I need to clean off of the dressers. My conclusion: “Why, Pa, I do believe we just had us an earthquake.” And then I went back to eating my cake.

A few minutes later my mom called from work. She asked me if I’d felt the earth move and I told her the whole riveting story…the cake, the dog’s ears, the rustling piles of crap. (It’s the details like these that make me such a good storyteller and why 10s of you keep coming back to my blog for more. You recognize that talent and I applaud you for it.) After I got off of the phone with my mom and (sadly) finished my last bite of cake, I made my “I survived the shiver of 2011” presence known on Facebook and Twitter before calling my hubby. I called Cool Daddy and asked him if he’d survived the earthquake and he had no idea what I was talking about. So, I once again filled him in with all of the exciting details this time including all of the dramatic accounts from my mom’s office as well. He hadn’t felt a thing. He did call back later to say he’d watched the surveillance video and saw the camera shaking. Ooooo…ahhhhh.

For those of you news hounds who want the real scoop, here’s the deal…
A moderate earthquake hit Virginia Tuesday afternoon and the tremors were felt hundreds of miles away. The epicenter of the 5.8 magnitude earthquake was about 87 miles outside of Washington, D.C. around 1:51 p.m. source
…and scene.
That’s it. Everyone’s fine although many freaked out…not really sure why (let’s all calm down, people). I don’t even have any crooked pictures (at least not any that were straight before the earthquake). A few weeks ago we had a thunderstorm in the middle of the night and that shook the house more than this earthquake. And it was super loud at 4am, not something I really appreciated. Still not scary, but concerning enough to make sure my laptop was unplugged in case lightning struck…priorities, you understand.

(Note: I would like to credit this photo, but it has gone viral in a very short period of time and I’m unable to trace the original source. If you know the source, please let me know!)

Maybe I was so calm today because I’d been through this before. In 1986 when I was in the first grade my teacher set her purse in front of me and asked me to watch it while she left the room for a moment. She walked out and shortly after that our desks started shaking. It felt very similar to what I felt today. I don’t remember a single thing falling or tipping over and I don’t really remember any of the kids crying or getting upset. We all thought it was pretty cool…or at least I did.

The January 31st (1986) earthquake struck just before 11:47 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. Although early media speculation had the epicenter located from Columbus to southern Canada, the U.S. Geological Survey quickly determined that the epicenter was east of Cleveland, and within a few hours the epicenter had been accurately located in southern Lake County just north of the Geauga-Lake County line. This Richter magnitude 4.96 (commonly rounded to 5.0) event was felt in parts of 11 states, the District of Columbia, and southern Ontario. Most of Ohio and western Pennsylvania experienced particularly strong vibrations that were noted by numerous individuals. The Division of Geological Survey received hundreds of telephone calls in the hours after the earthquake as did numerous federal, state, and local agencies. source

At the very end of Kindergarten on Friday May 31, 1985 there was a tornado here in Western Pennsylvania. Fridays were paydays and when my dad would get home from work we would all head up to The Big Beaver Plaza to go shopping at Jamesway (like a K-Mart or to reference some stores that are no longer in business: like a Hills or Ames). For whatever reason we didn’t go that night. I don’t remember what time it started storming, but I think that my sister and I were already in bed. Our dad was running around gathering flashlights, batteries, and radios. He said there was a tornado coming and we needed to get into the basement. Now we surely would be happy to go into our dark, dirty, cold, wet, insect-infested basement if it was going to save our lives (don’t get me wrong), but it obviously isn’t the nicest place to spend the evening. I’m not sure why my mom was so calm. I don’t know how she “knew” that we would be okay and that the tornado wouldn’t come near us. She took us out onto the porch and showed us the sky. It looked crazy, the wind was blowing everywhere it was so dark and cloudy…I don’t think that I could describe it if I tried. Then I saw (what I thought at the time was) the tornado in the distance. I’m guessing that it was just more crazy storm clouds, but I thought I was looking right at the tornado. We only looked briefly and then went back inside where we ate ice cream. I don’t remember if we ever went into the basement. Maybe my mom didn’t know that we’d be okay, but she could tell our dad was scaring us to death…so she made it fun. Who wants to go sit in a nasty basement waiting for a tornado to sweep you away? No one. That’s scary. Who wants to look at a super cool storm and then eat some ice cream? Me and my sister.

The fact of the matter is that, unlike the “no big deal” earthquakes that we’ve had, this tornado was the real deal. The terrible F3 tornado killed at least 3 people and The Big Beaver Plaza including the Jamesway was ripped to shreds.


Last year we survived Snowmeggdon 2010 also referred to as the Snowpocolypse. Snow really isn’t a big deal in PA, it’s something that we expect. Still, we hadn’t had a blizzard like this since the early 90s, so some people were freaking out. The Cool Family survived the snow by having French toast and hot chocolate.

I know that you’re amazed by my ability to come out of so many natural disasters unscathed. I’m like that dude from Unbreakable ;).

Things are pretty mild here in Western PA natural disaster-wise. We’re not prone to earthquakes or tornados (although they apparently do happen on occasion) or hurricanes or floods (although flooding is probably the most prevalent of all listed). We feel a tiny shiver and people are jumping into bathtubs the way that southerners start stocking up on bottled water when they spy a snow flurry or how people in LA start building an ark if it rains. But not me. I am cool, calm, and collected.

I rock unthreatening-out-of-character natural disasters the way that Will Smith rocks saving the world from alien beings. If you’re going to have a mild natural disaster in an unlikely area you’re going to want me there to keep things calm. I will get out the ice cream and cake and we’ll all breath deeply, sweets are key when your life is (not) in imminent danger. After said mini-disaster is over we will walk outside and see that all is right with the world and you will thank me for saving your nerves during such a trying time. You are welcome. But if while we’re gazing at the sky with a new appreciation for life we notice any ufo’s coming close…you’re gonna have to call Will Smith ‘cause mama don’t play that (and I certainly don’t share my sweets with aliens).

Disclaimer: I understand that depending on where you were during the tremor that circumstances may have been more dangerous…I am simply relaying my own, personal, completely no-big-deal experience. So far I have heard no reports of injuries or significant property damage and I pray that you and yours are all well. Also, I like to bookend with disclaimers to give us all a sense of closure. I’m sure that we all feel better now.

Where were you during The Great East Coast Earthquake of 2011, and did you feel it? Let me know in the comments!

Related Posts:
*1985: Dancing in a Box (Mommy’s Piggy Tales)
*1985: Jenn’s Unicorn 6th Birthday Party
*1986: There’s a Bra in my Lunchbox (Mommy’s Piggy Tales)
*1986: Jenn’s 7th Birthday Party (Hoss’s, rainbows, and earrings)

This post is linked to…

Lilypie Maternity tickers
Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!

The Night I Got Arrested and Changed My Name to David (not really)


Don’t be alarmed by the story I’m about to tell you. Here on the other side of things the baby and I are just fine, so just sit back and see the humor in the story.

I’ve been absent from the blog this week. Adaline’s birthday is coming up in just two weeks and I’ve been busy making and planning things for her party. Yesterday after spending the day making her party hat and then a balloon wreath, I finally sat down to relax. My mom was there to help out with Adaline while I finish things up. All of the sudden I started cramping. The cramps were down really low, almost in my pelvic area, and there was some pain in my lower back too. This didn’t feel like gas pains, or labor pains, or the kind of cramps I had during my miscarriage…it was really different from any kind of cramp I’d ever had before.

Well, long story short after about 20 minutes of the cramping I started to bleed. It wasn’t a lot of blood. It was very light and only when I wipe…it was a very light red (a pinky orange). I was 11 weeks and 4 days and I knew that if I was losing the baby there isn’t anything that they could do about it. Still I decided since I was cramping and bleeding I should go to the ER and get checked out just in case. I went upstairs to get dressed while my mom called to see if she could find someone to sit with Adaline. While I was upstairs I called Cool Daddy at work and told him what was going on. He said he’d find someone to come in for him and he’d take me to the hospital.

My hubby came straight from work and took me to the hospital while he was still wearing his uniform. We arrived at the ER and got checked in at 8:48pm, at this point I wasn’t cramping anymore and I was feeling fine other than being nervous and worried. We sat for a while before another desk nurse called me back to ask me some details. I was sitting in a wheelchair and hubby was standing next to me. After the nurse finished asking me questions, she looked at my husband and said, “Are you related?” and when he said that he was my husband she started to laugh. She said, “Here’s what I thought was going on. I thought you were taking her to jail and had to bring her to get checked out first. Then I thought, wow, she’s awful nice to be going to jail.” Of course we both started to laugh and I said, “He had to leave work to bring me here and he didn’t change first. Thanks, honey.” So there I was, a pregnant hardened criminal waiting to get checked before heading off to the slammer 😉

They got me into an ER room and into a gown. There was some waiting and waiting and then eventually and ER doctor came in. He said that he’d do an ultrasound to check for a heartbeat, they’d draw some blood to check my HCG levels, and take a urine sample to check for a urinary tract infection. So they gave me a cup and I went to fill it up. Right next to the toilet was an automatic toilet paper dispenser with a mind of its own. I was barely near it when it started dispensing tp onto the floor (and you don’t think I was going to use that do you? *shudder*). Then when I needed to use the paper and I waved my hand all around it nothing would come out, I had to reach my hand in there and yank some out. When I was all finished and walking away it started dispensing tp all over the floor again. Nice.

After all of the toilet paper fun the nurse came in and took my blood sample. Then she rolled in the portable ultrasound machine. And then we waited and waited and waited. Another nurse popped her head in and asked if we were down with the machine yet. I told her they’d never even used it and she said she would wait. A little while later the doctor came back in and said they were taking the ultrasound machine to someone more urgent. Eventually he came back at 10:44pm and we got this ultrasound thing started.

The doctor did an abdominal ultrasound (thank goodness), he showed us the baby and it appeared to have a good, strong heartbeat. He didn’t do the thing where they measure the heartbeat and tell you the number. Either this machine didn’t do that or he didn’t know how. So while we didn’t get a number of how strong the heartbeat was, we could see it and it looked good. The baby wasn’t moving (probably sleeping), although I thought I saw an arm move just a little.

The doctor said he was waiting on my test results and then we could go home. I was to call my ob the next day to let them know what was going on and to come back to the ER if I started soaking pads (I was barely bleeding at this point). Then he gave us a copy of the ultrasound. My husband looked at it and said to me, “Is your name, David?”

There on my ultrasound was the name David So-and-so, who I assume is the guy that got his ultrasound before me and the doc never bothered to change the name. Boy, won’t David be surprised to find out he has a uterus…and he’s pregnant!

After the doc left they seemed to forget about us again for nearly an hour. Hubby finally went to stand outside in the hall where a nurse spotted him and apologized and said that a shift change happened and he has my discharge papers. He apparently didn’t have my test results, but he assumed that everything was fine since they were discharging me. No one told me my HCG level. Oh well. I was too tired to care at that point. We got in the car to go home at 11:44pm.

So near as we can tell everything is fine with mom and baby. I never went to jail and I hear that David is already picking out names and lining up interviews. The End.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!

Oh, no he didn’t!


I’ve sung my hubby’s praises on this blog before. I’ve told you why he’s so awesome, and showed you cute things he’s done, and the great Mother’s Day gift he gave me. Despite the picture I may paint here (my husband is a lot of wonderful things…but) he’s far from perfect. There are plenty of things that he does that leave me scratching my head or screaming at the top of my lungs…I just try to leave it off of the blog. Today is not one of those days, my friends.

On Friday night Adaline spent the night at my mom’s house. I woke up with a sore throat and decided to spend the day in bed. Cool Daddy had the weekend off so he was planning on painting our front steps and porch. I told him to get a color like what we already had…white with the slightest hint of blue. At some point my mom called to say that Adaline was upset and was asking for me, and since I only live a block away I tossed on some clothes to walk over to my mom’s house. I knew that I’d need to go out the back door so as not to walk on the freshly painted porch…but I decided to pop my head out of the front door to make sure my hubby had his keys. I opened the front door and saw this…
(Insert theme music from Physco here)


And then there was this

And this

Oh, yes. It wraps around the side of the house!

If this color looks familiar to you but you can’t put your finger on where you’ve seen it, let me help you.
Maybe it was here…

Or here…

Or even here…

What the…?

When I opened up the door and took a look at the paint on the porch and then looked at my husband. He had his faced all scrunched up and was bracing himself for an ear-lashing from me. “What? Why? I said white! Oh my goodness…why did you keep painting all of this, you wasted an entire day!” He gave me reasons such as, “It looked gray on the paint chip (??? I asked for white!), I thought it would lighten up as it dried (And turn to white?), I thought I should ask you to come and look at it and then I decided not to (Because your brain fell out of your ear?).

Just to give you a visual of what the previous porch color was…

Yeah, it’s just a tad off. 😉

Even though my hubby was still hard at work painting when I opened the door to this catastrophe, once I had indeed confirmed that it looked awful he was immediately embarrassed and wanted to go to the hardware store right away to get new paint before too many neighbors saw the porch. Naturally I said, “You are never picking out paint colors alone again.” So after stopping by my mom’s house to console Adaline and fill my mom in on the porch paint madness, I…with the sore throat, pregnant, having not showered yet that day, while it was 90 degrees outside…went with my husband to the hardware store.

Before we left for the hardware store I had to take photos…and since my husband was suddenly so embarrassed I hung a sign before we left lest any passerby thought we intentionally painted our porch that color (even though we sorta did).

The note reads:
Yeah, that’s NOT the right color!
(Never let Papa Smurf paint your porch!)

He showed me the paint chip he’d selected.
Yes that indeed looks very gray
(or not at all…and again I asked for “white”)

This is the color that I selected.

And here they are together.

When we got home from the store that evening my husband started putting the first coat on right away. He worked until it was dark out and I think he got everything covered with at least one coat. The next day he finished it up and here it is now…

Tada!





I had him replace the flowers in the front too since I didn’t care for the previous ones he planted over a month ago. I think the petunias look great, but it’s kinda hard to see in this light 😦

Now he has to find a way to get the blue paint off of the bricks so that it doesn’t look as though a Smurf was squashed on our sidewalk.

Believe it or not I wasn’t actually mad, I was mostly…confused.
And mildly amused…mildly.

When I went back upstairs that night before he went outside to repaint the porch he said, “I love you!” and I said, “I love you, too. Thanks for the blog post.”

This post is linked to…

3.) A bad day.
Did you see last week’s Writer’s Workshop post?
Read about 10 (Obscure) Shows I’d Like to Make a Comeback!


Related Posts:
*Large Marge Update 2: Some more stair/porch related stuff.

Lilypie Maternity tickers
Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!

Funny Things Adaline Says


Adaline is 21 months old and she talks a lot. I mean a lot. Most of the time we understand her, sometimes we don’t. I can’t really say that she says funny things, she’s maybe a little too young for that. But a lot of things she says happen to strike me as funny because of the way that she says them or pronounces the words.

I recorded one video of Adaline talking about how a goat bit her finger at our trip to the animal park (post coming later). She said a few funny things and was trying to eat her foot and I was laughing the whole time I recorded it and then the camera just shut off :(. So, I turned it back on and recorded some more (the second video below) and then we downloaded them to watch. Imagine my surprise when I find out that the reason why the camera shut off the first time was because it wasn’t recording at all 😦 So I turned it on again and tried all over again, but she wasn’t so much in the mood for it and it’s not as funny as the first imaginary video was. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

So, anyway, here are 8 thrilling minutes (4 each) of me trying to get Adaline to repeat some of the “funny” phrases she says off camera. Enjoy.
(If you are reading this in an email or feed you will need to click over to the blog or click here or here to view the videos.)

A Goat Bit My Finger:


Let’s Talk About the Easter Bunny:

Oh, and she never did say what left green footprints in our kitchen! Maybe next time.

More (funny?) videos of Adaline:
*Happy Mother’s Day: A rousing rendition of “3 Little Fishies”
*Attack of the Giant Baby
*A long trip down Bunnylane: A long wordy post about our visit with the Easter Bunny…but I promise there’s a video at the end 😉
*And so it begins…: The child sassed me, and I recorded it

I’m linking this up to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop
Vlog: 6.) Describe a time when your child said or did something that made you laugh out loud. I also linked up #1 here and #5 here

Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!

Wordless Wednesday: Oscar Night


Watching the Oscars…

What?! Isn’t this how everyone watches the Oscars?
Hmmm, weird…