I sold my teacher what?!!!

This is for Mama’s Kat Writer’s Workshop prompt #4.) A time you felt wronged by a teacher. I had considered writing about this last year during my Mommy’s Piggy Tales series but thought it may be too scandalous for my nice, respectable, Mommy-blog and instead wrote about the time my grandma ran over my foot with the car. Still the story is begging to be told…

It was around March or April of 1991. I was in 6th grade. I was 11 years old. I had the misfortune of having the same math teacher two years in a row. He wasn’t all that bad and still I wasn’t very fond of him. Maybe because Math was my least favorite subject and my grades were slipping that year.


(Look at that face of innocence! And also that sa-weeeeet outfit ;))

Middle School was the time when we learned what “going together” was all about (sorta). Kids were “going together” and breaking up every week. “Going together” more than 2 weeks was rare and nearly unheard of during these formative years. I myself had already had one other “going together” and breaking up experience so far that year. Now I found myself “going with” another boy. I don’t remember much about our “relationship”. I don’t remember how we got together or how we broke up…I only remember that it happened and was, in the scheme of things, quite an uneventful period of time in my life. The only mention of the “relationship” in my diary was short, cryptic and written 3 months after the fact.

(Names were erased to protect the privacy of those mentioned in my diary ;))

There’s probably more I don’t remember about this experience than what I do remember and I regret that I can’t provide you with all of the compelling details. All I know is that the halls had recently emptied, I’m guessing that the bell was about to ring for the start of class. My boyfriend was in the hall with me and before he left he gave me a quick peck. I’m fairly certain that this was the first time that had happened, yet it happened so quickly it almost seemed routine. I’m not even sure the kiss hit my lips although I know it had intended to. Then he came walking up to me…my math teacher. Tall (in comparison to me), round, balding, and bearded he towered over me with his eyes narrowing at me through his round glasses. He informed me that he had just seen what had happened and would be calling my mother. I wanted to yell that he had kissed me and that I was the innocent victim of a hit and run (which was the truth), but I said nothing and walked with my head down, red-faced and embarrassed into class.

I don’t think my math teacher ever bothered calling my mother because she never talked to me about it, and believe me, she definitely would’ve talked to me about it. I suppose there was nothing to worry about, yet I still couldn’t help feeling embarrassed that my teacher thought me a naughty girl. In fact this very incident may have been what led to the ultimate demise of my “relationship” with Mr. Kiss-and-Run. I bet you’re thinking that this is rather a boring story and so far you’re right. Little did 11 year old me know the irony that awaited me 7 years later.

It was around September or October of 1998. I was 19 years old. I was working in the lingerie department of a very newly opened department store in the mall. Half of our department’s merchandise consisted of respectable sleepwear and robes, the other half of bras and panties and other foundations. Far from being Fredrick’s of Hollywood or even Victoria’s Secret we only carried a few racks of “special occasion” lingerie, otherwise known as…the sexy stuff.


(Me 1998, still the picture of innocence.)

Because the store had recently opened I was scheduled to work with several other cashiers, something that would be unheard of in the future as many resignations and lay-offs would occur. I was standing near the register talking with another girl when I happened to glance over towards the “special occasion” lingerie…
And then I saw him. Looking through the racks of sexy lingerie was my 5th-6th grade math teacher. He didn’t appear as tall since I was now (a little) taller than my 1991 counterpart, but he was still round (although perhaps more round), still balding (although more bald), still bearded (although more gray), and still wearing round glasses.

Before I had a chance to tell my co-worker and then flee from the scene…horror of all horrors he came walking up to the cash register. Suddenly I found myself alone. Where did my co-worker go so quickly?! I took my long hair and threw it in front of my face to hide my features and turned my name badge around to hide my name. I was hoping he would quickly purchase a nice tasteful negligee for his wife without recognizing me (I wasn’t sure whether or not he was married…nor did I care at the moment.). Well, he didn’t recognize me…at least he didn’t acknowledge that he recognized me. In fact I’m not sure he even looked directly at me as I’m sure he may have been quite embarrassed of himself. Embarrassed because, no…he was not in fact buying a nice tasteful negligee. Instead I found myself ringing up a pair of crotchless panties…in size 2XL…for my 6th grade math teacher! (*shudder*) Paying with a credit card confirmed my suspicions that it was indeed him. Aside from me mumbling the purchase total I’m quite sure that neither of us spoke during the whole transaction including any hellos or goodbyes.

He left and I pulled my hair back out of my face which was much redder than it had been 7 years ago in the hallway at school. Once I had a moment to recover from the horror of what had just happened, a smile broke across my face and I found myself wishing that I had his mother’s phone number…that naughty, naughty boy!

Other Writer’s Workshop Posts:
*07-13-11 A bad day: Oh, no he didn’t!
*07-13-11 Has your child thrown a temper tantrum in public?
Create a video describing what happened and how you handled it.
: And so it begins… (Video)
*07-06-11 A list of 10 old TV shows you’d like to make a comeback.: 10 Shows I’d Like to Make a Comeback
*06-15-11 Share a Summer Camp memory.: Youth Camp Stinks
*05-25-11 Write about a time you got in BIG trouble as a kid.
The Newsboys Wouldn’t Ditch Their Friends
*05-18-11 Describe a time when your child said or did something that made you laugh out loud.: Funny Things Adaline Says (Video)
*05-18-11 What was your big dream for yourself when you were 18 and had graduated from high school?: Dreams and Aspirations
*05-18-11 List ten favorite things about one of your favorite people.: 15 Reasons Why My Hubby is Awesome
*05-11-11 Write a love letter to someone (some thing?) you love.
The One That Got Away
*04-06-11 A rule I broke: In School Suspension

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About Jenn Rian

Jenn is a bored and sarcastic divorced mom of two who blogs and vlogs because the voices in her head tell her to. She blogs about as often as she showers, which isn't very often. Author of jennrian.com and coolestfamilyontheblock.com

Posted on September 22, 2011, in Flashbacks, Jenn, Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop and tagged . Bookmark the permalink. 7 Comments.

  1. I think you should have left your name badge alone and let him see who you were. Then HE would have been embarrassed, I’m sure.

    Teachers don’t change as much as students do. Sometimes it’s hard to recognize former students years later.

    Stopping by from writer’s workshop. Here’s the link to our post about our favorite childhood recipes: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2011/09/our-favorite-childhood-recipes-writers.html

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  2. Oh my gosh, all I can say is eew! I’m sorry your teacher was mean to you, and I don’t even know what to say about what he bought at the store. I hope he was embarrassed since he was mean to you in school.
    Stopping by from Mama Kat’s.

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  3. Hi! I am stopping by from the writer’s workshop… That was H-I-L-A-R-I-O-U-S! Thanks for sharing!

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  4. That was great. You handled it with grace. Loved the post.

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  5. I was totally rolling on the floor laughing at that last line. Good. Very Good! 😀

    Like

  1. Pingback: Awkward: I sold my teacher what?!!! | I Make Myself the Queen

  2. Pingback: Awkward: I sold my teacher what?!!!

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