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Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!


This post is for Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop #3.) A lie you told. I also linked up #5.) What was the occasion? Write about the last time you stayed in a hotel here.

I made a friend at school in Kindergarten. I think her name was Amber, but I’m not sure. One day I told Amber that I was going to be having a birthday party at Brady’s Run Park. I was not. What was actually going on was that our church was having the Sunday School Picnic at the park fairly close to my birthday. I knew that it wasn’t my birthday party…but I told her that anyway. I had forgotten all about it until we were at the Sunday School Picnic. Our family was at the shelter when a car pulled up. A little girl with a wrapped present got out of the car. Oops…busted! I had to tell my mom, and Amber, and her mom that I had lied about my birthday. I really don’t recall getting into a lot of trouble. In fact I remember our moms telling us that we could have a play date and maybe I could even ride the bus home with Amber one day (which was exciting for me because I was a “walker”). Then Amber and her mom got back into the car with the present and drove away. I don’t have any memories of Amber after that. I know that we never had our play date and sometime before the end of the year she moved away (probably to a place where people tell the truth). Amber did not come to my real birthday party that year. I’m not sure if it’s because we didn’t invite her, or if she just didn’t believe me, or if she had already moved away by then. I have absolutely no idea why I lied. It was very out of character for me. In fact while preparing for my Mommy’s Piggy Tales posts I asked my mom if she had any cute stories of me at this age. She told me that I was such a good girl all the time, I never did anything wrong, and there just isn’t anything funny about a little girl who’s always behaving herself.

The thing that I find weird about this story is…how did two 5 year old girls get the details right? How did I tell Amber the exact day, time, and place with shelter number to come to? How did she then relay that information to her mother…correctly? Why did her mom just take her to a birthday party without there being a written invitation and without speaking to my mother first? I have no idea! But aside from the lying, those were some great communication skills at work!

This post was originally included in the post Dancing in a box for my Mommy’s Piggy Tale series. That original post has been edited to create this new post.

My Piggy Tales:
*My Birth Story: I’m always late!
*Ages 3-5: Dancing in a box
*Age 5 Kindergarten: Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire!
*Age 6 First Grade: There’s a bra in my lunchbox!
*Age 7 Second Grade: Bossy Wheels and Shady Deals
*Age 8 Third Grade: I will not talk in class
*Age 9 Fourth Grade: I didn’t really need those fingers anyway!
*Age 10 5th Grade: Nothing’s Scary in the Fifth Grade
*Age 11 6th Grade: Jenny Got Ran Over by her Grandma
*Age 12 7th Grade: Youth Camp Stinks
*Age 13 8th Grade: “Talent” Show
*Age 14 9th Grade: (N)O Christmas Tree
*Age 15 10th Grade: The Newsboys Wouldn’t Ditch Their Friends
*Age 16 11th Grade: Acrophobia Gets You the Good Seats
*Age 17 12th Grade: In School Suspension

My Young Adult Years
*Dreams and Aspirations: The Long Road There
*Friends and Fellowship: Friends Don’t Get Friends Grounded
*My First Job
*How I Met Cool Daddy Part 1
*How I Met Cool Daddy Part 2
*Colonel Mustard on a Rollercoaster with a Plastic Fork

You can find links to posts about my 1st-5th birthdays here: Celebrating 30 Years in 30 Days

The Night I Got Arrested and Changed My Name to David (not really)


Don’t be alarmed by the story I’m about to tell you. Here on the other side of things the baby and I are just fine, so just sit back and see the humor in the story.

I’ve been absent from the blog this week. Adaline’s birthday is coming up in just two weeks and I’ve been busy making and planning things for her party. Yesterday after spending the day making her party hat and then a balloon wreath, I finally sat down to relax. My mom was there to help out with Adaline while I finish things up. All of the sudden I started cramping. The cramps were down really low, almost in my pelvic area, and there was some pain in my lower back too. This didn’t feel like gas pains, or labor pains, or the kind of cramps I had during my miscarriage…it was really different from any kind of cramp I’d ever had before.

Well, long story short after about 20 minutes of the cramping I started to bleed. It wasn’t a lot of blood. It was very light and only when I wipe…it was a very light red (a pinky orange). I was 11 weeks and 4 days and I knew that if I was losing the baby there isn’t anything that they could do about it. Still I decided since I was cramping and bleeding I should go to the ER and get checked out just in case. I went upstairs to get dressed while my mom called to see if she could find someone to sit with Adaline. While I was upstairs I called Cool Daddy at work and told him what was going on. He said he’d find someone to come in for him and he’d take me to the hospital.

My hubby came straight from work and took me to the hospital while he was still wearing his uniform. We arrived at the ER and got checked in at 8:48pm, at this point I wasn’t cramping anymore and I was feeling fine other than being nervous and worried. We sat for a while before another desk nurse called me back to ask me some details. I was sitting in a wheelchair and hubby was standing next to me. After the nurse finished asking me questions, she looked at my husband and said, “Are you related?” and when he said that he was my husband she started to laugh. She said, “Here’s what I thought was going on. I thought you were taking her to jail and had to bring her to get checked out first. Then I thought, wow, she’s awful nice to be going to jail.” Of course we both started to laugh and I said, “He had to leave work to bring me here and he didn’t change first. Thanks, honey.” So there I was, a pregnant hardened criminal waiting to get checked before heading off to the slammer 😉

They got me into an ER room and into a gown. There was some waiting and waiting and then eventually and ER doctor came in. He said that he’d do an ultrasound to check for a heartbeat, they’d draw some blood to check my HCG levels, and take a urine sample to check for a urinary tract infection. So they gave me a cup and I went to fill it up. Right next to the toilet was an automatic toilet paper dispenser with a mind of its own. I was barely near it when it started dispensing tp onto the floor (and you don’t think I was going to use that do you? *shudder*). Then when I needed to use the paper and I waved my hand all around it nothing would come out, I had to reach my hand in there and yank some out. When I was all finished and walking away it started dispensing tp all over the floor again. Nice.

After all of the toilet paper fun the nurse came in and took my blood sample. Then she rolled in the portable ultrasound machine. And then we waited and waited and waited. Another nurse popped her head in and asked if we were down with the machine yet. I told her they’d never even used it and she said she would wait. A little while later the doctor came back in and said they were taking the ultrasound machine to someone more urgent. Eventually he came back at 10:44pm and we got this ultrasound thing started.

The doctor did an abdominal ultrasound (thank goodness), he showed us the baby and it appeared to have a good, strong heartbeat. He didn’t do the thing where they measure the heartbeat and tell you the number. Either this machine didn’t do that or he didn’t know how. So while we didn’t get a number of how strong the heartbeat was, we could see it and it looked good. The baby wasn’t moving (probably sleeping), although I thought I saw an arm move just a little.

The doctor said he was waiting on my test results and then we could go home. I was to call my ob the next day to let them know what was going on and to come back to the ER if I started soaking pads (I was barely bleeding at this point). Then he gave us a copy of the ultrasound. My husband looked at it and said to me, “Is your name, David?”

There on my ultrasound was the name David So-and-so, who I assume is the guy that got his ultrasound before me and the doc never bothered to change the name. Boy, won’t David be surprised to find out he has a uterus…and he’s pregnant!

After the doc left they seemed to forget about us again for nearly an hour. Hubby finally went to stand outside in the hall where a nurse spotted him and apologized and said that a shift change happened and he has my discharge papers. He apparently didn’t have my test results, but he assumed that everything was fine since they were discharging me. No one told me my HCG level. Oh well. I was too tired to care at that point. We got in the car to go home at 11:44pm.

So near as we can tell everything is fine with mom and baby. I never went to jail and I hear that David is already picking out names and lining up interviews. The End.

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Oh, no he didn’t!


I’ve sung my hubby’s praises on this blog before. I’ve told you why he’s so awesome, and showed you cute things he’s done, and the great Mother’s Day gift he gave me. Despite the picture I may paint here (my husband is a lot of wonderful things…but) he’s far from perfect. There are plenty of things that he does that leave me scratching my head or screaming at the top of my lungs…I just try to leave it off of the blog. Today is not one of those days, my friends.

On Friday night Adaline spent the night at my mom’s house. I woke up with a sore throat and decided to spend the day in bed. Cool Daddy had the weekend off so he was planning on painting our front steps and porch. I told him to get a color like what we already had…white with the slightest hint of blue. At some point my mom called to say that Adaline was upset and was asking for me, and since I only live a block away I tossed on some clothes to walk over to my mom’s house. I knew that I’d need to go out the back door so as not to walk on the freshly painted porch…but I decided to pop my head out of the front door to make sure my hubby had his keys. I opened the front door and saw this…
(Insert theme music from Physco here)


And then there was this

And this

Oh, yes. It wraps around the side of the house!

If this color looks familiar to you but you can’t put your finger on where you’ve seen it, let me help you.
Maybe it was here…

Or here…

Or even here…

What the…?

When I opened up the door and took a look at the paint on the porch and then looked at my husband. He had his faced all scrunched up and was bracing himself for an ear-lashing from me. “What? Why? I said white! Oh my goodness…why did you keep painting all of this, you wasted an entire day!” He gave me reasons such as, “It looked gray on the paint chip (??? I asked for white!), I thought it would lighten up as it dried (And turn to white?), I thought I should ask you to come and look at it and then I decided not to (Because your brain fell out of your ear?).

Just to give you a visual of what the previous porch color was…

Yeah, it’s just a tad off. 😉

Even though my hubby was still hard at work painting when I opened the door to this catastrophe, once I had indeed confirmed that it looked awful he was immediately embarrassed and wanted to go to the hardware store right away to get new paint before too many neighbors saw the porch. Naturally I said, “You are never picking out paint colors alone again.” So after stopping by my mom’s house to console Adaline and fill my mom in on the porch paint madness, I…with the sore throat, pregnant, having not showered yet that day, while it was 90 degrees outside…went with my husband to the hardware store.

Before we left for the hardware store I had to take photos…and since my husband was suddenly so embarrassed I hung a sign before we left lest any passerby thought we intentionally painted our porch that color (even though we sorta did).

The note reads:
Yeah, that’s NOT the right color!
(Never let Papa Smurf paint your porch!)

He showed me the paint chip he’d selected.
Yes that indeed looks very gray
(or not at all…and again I asked for “white”)

This is the color that I selected.

And here they are together.

When we got home from the store that evening my husband started putting the first coat on right away. He worked until it was dark out and I think he got everything covered with at least one coat. The next day he finished it up and here it is now…

Tada!





I had him replace the flowers in the front too since I didn’t care for the previous ones he planted over a month ago. I think the petunias look great, but it’s kinda hard to see in this light 😦

Now he has to find a way to get the blue paint off of the bricks so that it doesn’t look as though a Smurf was squashed on our sidewalk.

Believe it or not I wasn’t actually mad, I was mostly…confused.
And mildly amused…mildly.

When I went back upstairs that night before he went outside to repaint the porch he said, “I love you!” and I said, “I love you, too. Thanks for the blog post.”

This post is linked to…

3.) A bad day.
Did you see last week’s Writer’s Workshop post?
Read about 10 (Obscure) Shows I’d Like to Make a Comeback!


Related Posts:
*Large Marge Update 2: Some more stair/porch related stuff.

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Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!

Funny Things Adaline Says


Adaline is 21 months old and she talks a lot. I mean a lot. Most of the time we understand her, sometimes we don’t. I can’t really say that she says funny things, she’s maybe a little too young for that. But a lot of things she says happen to strike me as funny because of the way that she says them or pronounces the words.

I recorded one video of Adaline talking about how a goat bit her finger at our trip to the animal park (post coming later). She said a few funny things and was trying to eat her foot and I was laughing the whole time I recorded it and then the camera just shut off :(. So, I turned it back on and recorded some more (the second video below) and then we downloaded them to watch. Imagine my surprise when I find out that the reason why the camera shut off the first time was because it wasn’t recording at all 😦 So I turned it on again and tried all over again, but she wasn’t so much in the mood for it and it’s not as funny as the first imaginary video was. You’ll just have to take my word for it.

So, anyway, here are 8 thrilling minutes (4 each) of me trying to get Adaline to repeat some of the “funny” phrases she says off camera. Enjoy.
(If you are reading this in an email or feed you will need to click over to the blog or click here or here to view the videos.)

A Goat Bit My Finger:


Let’s Talk About the Easter Bunny:

Oh, and she never did say what left green footprints in our kitchen! Maybe next time.

More (funny?) videos of Adaline:
*Happy Mother’s Day: A rousing rendition of “3 Little Fishies”
*Attack of the Giant Baby
*A long trip down Bunnylane: A long wordy post about our visit with the Easter Bunny…but I promise there’s a video at the end 😉
*And so it begins…: The child sassed me, and I recorded it

I’m linking this up to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop
Vlog: 6.) Describe a time when your child said or did something that made you laugh out loud. I also linked up #1 here and #5 here

Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!

Wordless Wednesday: Oscar Night


Watching the Oscars…

What?! Isn’t this how everyone watches the Oscars?
Hmmm, weird…

The One That Got Away


Monday was Valentine’s Day and I just couldn’t help getting a little reminiscent about “the one that got away” and how things might have been if we were still together. This is the post where all of the ex-boyfriends on Facebook will click over to see if I’m talking about them. Get over yourself, conceited, I’m not talking about you.

Many years back, I fell in love. I fell in love quick and I fell in love hard. It was truly love at first sight and I just knew that we were meant to be together forever. I wanted to spend all of my time with my love. I would spend any amount of money that it would take to be with my love as much as I could as often as I could. And then my love left me. Without warning, without reason, just…gone. I was confused and heartbroken. Was it something I did? Something I said? Was I coming on too strong? I guess I’ll never know.

Sometimes I go awhile without thinking about my love. Sometimes I miss my love so much it hurts. Why did things have to happen this way? Why can’t we still be together?

I haven’t seen my love since 2006. Here are the last photos I have of the two of us together. We look so happy 😦

Oh, Godiva Chocolate Raspberry Truffle ice cream…return to me! I already forgive you and I wait for you with open arms and a ready spoon.

I will always love you.
Jenn