Monthly Archives: May 2011
Okay, I’m ready to talk about it
A year ago today I lost something very special to me. I lost LOST. For those of you not in the “know”, LOST was a 1 hour drama on ABC from 2004-2010 about a group of people stranded on a mysterious island.
(*Spoilers contained in the link*)
I’m not a person that gets super into tv. We don’t even have real cable anymore. I first saw LOST during the second airing of the first episode. I was flipping and didn’t see anything on. I came across LOST, which I had seen previews for. The previews didn’t really tell you anything about the show and I thought, “That’s probably going to be a really stupid show.”, but I knew that Dominic Monaghan was in it and being a huge Lord of the Rings fan I figured I’d watch it.
And I was hooked.
For me it became one of those “never miss” shows. I recorded episodes while I watched them (with a VCR because I’m all fancy like that. I know you DVR people are jealous.). I never missed an episode. I would remind everyone that I knew, “Don’t call me while LOST is on.” My husband, who was equally interested in the show, would sometimes forget while he was working and call me only to hear me answer, “LOST is on, this better be an emergency!” I visited LOST related websites and followed forums (though I never posted). I was all about LOST. The fact that a year later I still remember the exact date that the finale aired proves that I was more than a tad involved.
Part of the appeal of LOST was that it was a mystery show. There were many storylines and while one episode may reveal an answer it would also raise three more questions. It was one of the best and most frustrating aspects of the show. Many people had theories and ideas and others, like me, didn’t try to figure it out and just went along for the ride. If you’ve never seen LOST it’s near impossible to explain to you what it was about. If you’re a person that gets easily confused and can’t pay close attention to characters or multiple storylines you would be completely LOST. And many were…yet they watched it anyway. I personally never had any trouble keeping up with the plot and I loved every minute of it.
Well, every minute up to the last season.
While I wasn’t a LOST theorist I was still very interested in getting answers. It’s part of the reason why I never theorized to begin with. I wanted to see where the writer’s were going with it. I couldn’t wait to see what they had created and how it all came together. But guess what. They didn’t tell us. No answers. They just left us hanging. Sure they answered some questions…but not all of them. The final season itself raised more questions than ever before! Up until the last episode I was still holding on to the hope that they would tie it all together in a pretty little bow and I would be amazed at their brilliance and at the same time go, “Oh my, yes…that makes so much sense.” But no, it did not happen.
I’m sad that my show ended. I do miss it. But it’s more than just missing a show that I enjoyed. For me I feel like the show was cancelled in the middle before having a chance to work out the plot…but it wasn’t cancelled. They ended it like that on purpose. I felt a little cheated to be honest. It’s not about the finale (even though it’s definitely one of those love it or hate it kind)…it’s about how they ended the series as a whole. If they had more episodes that answered questions and explained what was going on I would’ve been fine with the finale. It’s like someone ripped out the last chapter of a book and I can’t find a whole book anywhere, all that’s left is a bunch of people theorizing how it really ended.
Not cool, dude, not cool.
This blog explained it really well here.
(*Spoilers contained in the links*)
Don't let the smiles fool you, I was dying inside 😦
Am I little jaded? Maybe. (Okay, yes, definitely.) On one hand I still love the series and I’ll still call it my favorite show. But I haven’t gone back. Since the finale I haven’t re-watched any of DVDs of previous episodes, or read any forums, I didn’t even bother to buy the last season on DVD. It only reminds me that I’ll never know and I think that really stinks. It’s been one year since the finale and I feel like you do a year after a break up. You think about all of the good times and how in love you were and how much fun you had and it makes you smile and then you think about how your heart was broken and it just makes you sad.
Yep, my heart was broken by a tv show.
Well, by a tv show and also by ice cream.
Have you ever been disappointed by a tv show?
Tell me in the comments!
If you’ve never seen LOST but you’re thinking about watching it now…please don’t let me stop you. In fact, I encourage you to watch it, it’s a great show. You’ll be going into it with the advantage of knowing that there will be some things that will never be explained. Maybe you’ll enjoy it more because of that.
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Funny Things Adaline Says
Adaline is 21 months old and she talks a lot. I mean a lot. Most of the time we understand her, sometimes we don’t. I can’t really say that she says funny things, she’s maybe a little too young for that. But a lot of things she says happen to strike me as funny because of the way that she says them or pronounces the words.
I recorded one video of Adaline talking about how a goat bit her finger at our trip to the animal park (post coming later). She said a few funny things and was trying to eat her foot and I was laughing the whole time I recorded it and then the camera just shut off :(. So, I turned it back on and recorded some more (the second video below) and then we downloaded them to watch. Imagine my surprise when I find out that the reason why the camera shut off the first time was because it wasn’t recording at all 😦 So I turned it on again and tried all over again, but she wasn’t so much in the mood for it and it’s not as funny as the first imaginary video was. You’ll just have to take my word for it.
So, anyway, here are 8 thrilling minutes (4 each) of me trying to get Adaline to repeat some of the “funny” phrases she says off camera. Enjoy.
(If you are reading this in an email or feed you will need to click over to the blog or click here or here to view the videos.)
A Goat Bit My Finger:
Let’s Talk About the Easter Bunny:
Oh, and she never did say what left green footprints in our kitchen! Maybe next time.
More (funny?) videos of Adaline:
*Happy Mother’s Day: A rousing rendition of “3 Little Fishies”
*Attack of the Giant Baby
*A long trip down Bunnylane: A long wordy post about our visit with the Easter Bunny…but I promise there’s a video at the end 😉
*And so it begins…: The child sassed me, and I recorded it
I’m linking this up to Mama Kat’s Writer’s Workshop
Vlog: 6.) Describe a time when your child said or did something that made you laugh out loud. I also linked up #1 here and #5 here
Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!
Trying to Conceive: Tracking Ovulation and Secondary Infertility
Well, it’s “Trying to Conceive Tuesday” again…I’m just kidding. That’s not a thing. At least not that I’m aware of. Nonetheless I have ttc updates and it is Tuesday, so let’s just roll with it shall we…
Cool Daddy and I have actually been trying to conceive ever since I started blogging, but it just wasn’t anything I wrote about on the blog. But during my series of infertility posts that I wrote for National Infertility Awareness Week I kinda let the cat out of the bag so to speak. Now I feel obligated to let you know what’s going on. I mean, it’s totally cool, I don’t mind sharing.
On May 3 I had another appointment with the OBGYN to check our test results. Cool Daddy had to take in a *ahem* sample, and I had blood work done to check my thyroid and see if I’d be ovulating. So the doc said that according to the results hubby’s count is normal and I don’t have a thyroid problem and dun, dun, dun…I am NOT ovulating. Say what now? Yeah. Despite all of our struggles conceiving in the past I was still surprised to hear her say it. Prior to my first two pregnancies they weren’t able to find anything “wrong”…so we had unexplained infertility. Now we are struggling again, I assumed that there still wasn’t anything “wrong”. But there is.
I started taking 50mg of Clomid that day and finished up on Saturday. I can take Clomid for 6 months, which means until October, unless I get pregnant which would be, ya know, the point of taking it to begin with. This week hubby and I have some “business” to take care of. This weekend I start taking the Crinone again. Next week I must have more blood work done to see if the Clomid helped me to ovulate and the following week I have an exam to check and make sure I’m not forming a lot of cysts. So there will be a lot of poking and prodding the Jenn for the remainder of the month (pun intended, feel free to insert a creeped-out shiver here__).
When we left the doctor’s office, I cried. Not a lot, really. I’m not sure why I cried. We weren’t getting pregnant when I thought that I was ovulating…and even if I was she was going to put me on Clomid anyway. Still it was just a different thing to have to deal with going from, “We don’t know what’s wrong.” to “Yes, there’s a problem.”. I’m not really sure which one is worse. I’m fine. We’re going to try the Clomid and if it doesn’t work we’re going to close our ttc door and move on.
I’ve spent nearly 6 years of my life trying to get pregnant. We’ve always been serious about it but not overly “aggressive”. People always like to tell you to “relax” and that “you’re trying too hard”, but unless you’ve told them every little detail they really have no idea how “hard” you’re trying. Well, in the spirit of doing the exact opposite of what people like to say to me I’m actually going to “try harder”. In that I mean that I’m going to be trying to track my ovulation in ways that I’ve really never bothered to use before. Now that I know I’m not ovulating and because I know that if the Clomid works I may ovulate earlier or later than expected, I don’t want to miss the window. So I have a few ovulation calculating tricks up my sleeve. Tada…
1. Ovulation Predictor Kit:
I started taking an opt every day at 2pm to detect my LH surge. I have used an OPK before…about 4 or 5 times during the 6 years of ttc. Now I plan on using them every month while we’re on the Clomid.
2. Basal Digital Thermometer
I have never charted my temps before. Now I’m going to take my temperature the same time every morning before I get out of bed.
3. Ovulation Microscope
This is pretty cool. Apparently your saliva changes during your cycle. Every morning before I get out of bed I put a drop of spit (yum) on the lens of the microscope and let it dry for 5 minutes. Then I look into the lens to see if I can detect a “ferning pattern”. When my spit sample looks like a fern…I’m fertile 😉
4. Ovulation Calendar:
I’ve been using this online calendar for years to keep track of my cycle and get an idea of when to expect my period. I always use this to see when my estimated fertile days are according to my LMP. You can make notes on this calendar and that’s a feature that I’ve always liked.
5. Clomid Ovulation Calculator:
You enter the date that you started taking Clomid and it will calculate for you the expected date of ovulation.
I made a calendar on the computer and plugged in all of the dates when I should be fertile, the dates to start using the OPK, when to start using Crinone, my OBGYN appointments, etc. and I printed it out and put it next to the bed with a pen and my thermometer and microscope.
So now you are all caught up and you probably know way more about my personal reproductive system than you ever cared to know.
You can thank me later.
*** Update…the Clomid worked after one cycle! Jonathan Paul was born on February 08, 2012 🙂 ***
*Disclosure: This post contains amazon.com affiliate links. If you make a purchase using these links I may get a small amount of money for it. I’ve only been using these products for one day and can not yet comment on how well they work. I paid for these products using my own money. All opinions expressed are my own.*
+Our Infertility Story: The short version
But if you want the whole story read…
+Part 1: The first 4 ½ years of our infertility struggle
+Part 2: My first Pregnancy
+Part 3: My Miscarriage
+Part 4: Conceiving after miscarriage
+Part 5: Secondary infertility after the birth of our daughter
Other Related Posts:
*National Infertility Awareness Week
*Infertility Myth Busted: Just Relax
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried
My Mother’s Day Gift
So some people might think that this is a little weird. That’s okay, I’m going to tell you anyway.
When my husband asked me last week what I wanted for Mother’s Day I told him, “Honestly the only thing I really want is a copy of Jordan’s ultrasound.” Jordan was my first pregnancy that I later miscarried. It was a blighted ovum, but we named the baby anyway.
During the miscarriage I had asked several times for a copy of the ultrasound they did the day they told me I was losing the baby. I asked clerks, I asked the OB directly…every time I got the run around. I don’t think they understood what I even wanted it for. To them it was just a picture of an empty sac…and a medical record. But to me, that sac represented my baby. My baby that we had tried 4 ½ years for. Yes, the sac was empty…but that ultrasound was the closest thing to a picture of my baby that I would ever get. I’d pretty much given up hope of getting a copy of it and the thought of asking for it again just stressed me out.
On Wednesday I went shopping with my sister for the day. When I got home hubby wanted to run out and deposit his paycheck. When he got back he handed me the receipt for the deposit and a small manila envelope with his name on it. “What is this?” I asked him. “I don’t know. Open it.” “But it has your name on it. Is this from the credit union?” I asked while I was opening it. “I don’t know, just open it.” I finally opened it up and in there were three copies of the ultrasound 🙂 I thanked him and I teared up and asked him several times “How did you get this?!” and he kept responding, “I’ve got connections.” And to spare you the details…he does have connections 😉
The first two images were during the regular abdominal ultrasound. The sac is the dark ovular hole on the left. The larger hole above it I believe is my bladder.
This image was during the transvaginal ultrasound, again the dark ovular hole in the center is the sac. I was supposed to be 11 weeks and 3 days along, but the sac was empty (blighted ovum 😦 ) and was measuring at only 6 weeks.
So that’s the story about how a 3 ½ year old ultrasound of an empty sac is the best Mother’s Day gift that I could get :).
Happy Mother’s Day!
Related Posts:
*My First Pregnancy
*My Miscarriage
*Spring Ahead: Reflections on Miscarriage
*Celebrate Your Name Week: Jordan: Why we named the baby we miscarried
*Our Infertility Story
*Childless Mother: Infertility Poem
Coolest Family on the Block is committed to helping you find creative ways to have fun and make memories with your family all year-long. Don’t miss an idea, tip, or trick…subscribe and have updates sent directly to your email!
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Fun and Dysfunction 