Fun and Dysfunction

In 2010 our family started a new Christmas Eve tradition: Uncle Ugly’s Christmas Sweater Jamboree, which is just a fancy way of saying “Ugly Christmas Sweater Competition”. It was a hit and my very own Cool Daddy came away as the victorious champion!

For 2011 some contestants upped their game, others dropped out altogether (party poopers).

Let’s start things off with a group photo of the cool family.

Here is Cool Daddy, last year’s Ugly Christmas Sweater Champion. We were all relieved that he chose to ditch the creepy mustache from last year.

It’s difficult to describe what’s happening with his sweater, because I honestly don’t know. He’s sporting a lovely lady’s sweater vest with flashing snowflake lights on one side and candy cane garland on the other. Look closely and you will see a gold and a red tinsel tree on either of his shoulders (blends into the background, boo!). He added some Christmas underwear from the Dollar Tree because…well, I don’t know. I have no idea why anyone would pin underwear to their sweater, but it happened. I apologize.

He paired his sweater with some Christmas tree pajama bottoms and a snazzy plastic candy cane cane. Yes, a cane cane.

Here I am rocking an ugly Christmas sweater, maternity style! I was almost 8 months pregnant with Jonathan.

I trimmed a red sweater vest with tacky multi-colored disco ball garland. My baby bump is adorned with a Christmas wreath with flashing snowman lights. The wreath is topped with double bow goodness, a giant felt red bow and a giant shiny silver gift bow. A Santa Claus stocking on the side is the perfect place to tuck the battery pack from the lights.

In 2010 my sister totally flaked out on the sweaters and barely participated. This year she wore a red sweater, which was an improvement. She altered the sweater by writing “Merry Christmas” in magic marker and attaching a baby onesie, or is it a dog shirt? She’s wearing a baby bib around her neck. Why? I don’t know. I’m confused by the whole thing. Perhaps the “bah humbug” on her shirt is the key to it all. I do enjoy her headgear which is actually a tissue box cover.

Last year after my sister dropped the ball my brother-in-law was stuck with a completely un-Christmasy sweatshirt. He did bring home the title of “Most Naturally Ugly Sweater” in 2010 because his was the only one completely unaltered. In 2011 he was in it to win it. This completely unaltered black sweater vest has charming plaid accents that add country appeal. The sweater is perfectly complimented by a turtleneck covered in poinsettias on a field of green.

My mom is stuck on Christmas in this red sweatshirt accented with puffy Christmas stickers in the shape of a Christmas tree. The children had taken quite a few of her stickers off of her shirt before I could get a picture. A sticky situation to say the least! (bah-dum-ching)

My cousin, Ben, took the loss hard last year. He had come with his game fast on, an entire Christmas tree on his chest, and presents on his feet and he still failed to bring home the title of “Ugly Christmas Sweater Champion”.

In attempt to keep history from repeating itself, Ben kicked things up a notch with this celestial beauty. A swatch of blue framed in fluffy fiber fill is the perfect heavenly background for this dollar store plastic doll posing as an angel. Perched on a tuft of cloud she is just out of reach of her harp made of Styrofoam. She is accompanied by a few other heavenly hosts and doves. Accessories include a marabou halo, angel wings, and puffy cloud shoes.

My cousin Aunia is a brick house, or at least her sweater is. Strategically placed strips of white foam on a red shirt creates the illusion of bricks. In the center sits a door decorated with a lovely lit wreath. That’s not all…open the door to find a festive living room complete with Christmas tree and presents! Ugly or adorable?

Now is your last chance to guess who was the winner of the 2011 Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest.
Click below if you need a refresher on the rules.

Announcing the 2011 Ugly Christmas Sweater Contest Winners…

Ben was more than pleased to earn the title of Ugly Christmas Sweater Champion. My baby bump and I waddled away with the title of “Most Overall Festive Attire”, and Matt claimed the title of “Most Naturally Ugly Sweater” for the second year in a row.

Just a boy kissing his trophy. Nothing to see here, people, move along.

Which sweater gets your vote for ugliest? (Mine!)
Does your family have an Ugly Christmas Sweater Tradition?